Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

While some are of the opinion that parents should motivate their children to engage themselves in organised group activities in their leisure time, others oppose the prior view and believes that it is crucial for the children to find their own hobby. I am going to discuss both the view before stating my opinion.

People who supports former view believes that organised group activities like playing sports and attending arts class has greater advantages for childrens such as social bonding among the peers, active lifestyle and better community support. If childrens are engage in organised group activities, which is monitored by authorities, they tend to develop learning habits and get social validation from begining. That is the reason for which parents should encourage their children to take part in this activities.

However, Others believe that forcing children to have a apealing hobby is misconduct and childerens should leave alone to figure out on their own likes and dislikes. nowadays it is common that some hobby are rewarded in societies while others are look down upon. To illustrate, someone who plays piano is more liked that someone who can paint, because one is more attractive than other. And for this reason some parents force their child to have such hobby and desregard their personal likes which can demotivate children's. That is why some people suggests to let a child choose what they want to do in their free time.

In conclusion, Both the views have equally convincing ideas to support;however, I believe parents are responsible to provide any necessary direction in their childeren's life. that is why they should encourage their child to take part in activities in their free time.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both views and give a personal position: you support organised activities, while acknowledging the value of children choosing their own interests. The examples of sports, arts classes, piano and painting are relevant. However, the discussion is only partly developed. The benefits of group activities are listed, but the response does not explain in much detail how they help children; similarly, the concern about social approval and parental pressure could be explored further. Your position also shifts slightly: you first say both views are equally convincing, then conclude that parents should encourage organised activities. Clarify that parents can offer guidance while respecting a child’s preferences, and support this position consistently with a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a conclusion. Transitions such as “However” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the discussion, and the ideas generally progress in a sensible order. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and shows some ability to connect ideas. To make the progression more consistently clear, improve the links within paragraphs and avoid relying on formulaic transitions. For example, “And for this reason” repeats the causal link already made in the preceding sentence. The reference in “this activities” is also unclear, and the conclusion’s “Both the views” does not smoothly connect the balanced discussion to your final preference. Use precise referencing and make the relationship between each example and its main point explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “social bonding,” “active lifestyle,” “social validation,” and “personal likes,” so the meaning is generally understandable. There are also attempts at less common expressions, such as “organised group activities” and “demotivate.” However, several inaccurate word choices, collocations and spelling errors make the vocabulary control uneven: “apealing hobby,” “look down upon,” and “more liked” do not express the intended ideas naturally, while “childerens” and “desregard” are misspelled. Some phrases, such as “find their own hobby,” are also narrower than the task’s idea of learning to occupy oneself. Choose natural collocations, check spelling carefully, and use precise terms for independent interests and parental guidance.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “activities, which is monitored by authorities” and a conditional structure beginning “If childrens are engage…”. However, errors occur frequently and sometimes make the reader pause. Subject–verb agreement is inconsistent (“others … believes,” “People who supports,” and “some hobby are”), and verb forms are often incorrect (“are engage,” “should leave alone”). There are also problems with articles, plurals and sentence boundaries, as in “a apealing hobby” and the capitalisation after full stops. These patterns show that complex structures are being attempted but are not yet controlled reliably. Build accuracy first with shorter clauses, then check agreement, verb forms, articles and punctuation when combining ideas.

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