Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-01
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
IN THE MODERN WORLD, HOW CHILDREN SPEND THEIR TIME IN FREE TIME IS AN IMPORTANT TOPIC OF DISCUSSION. SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT ORGANISED ACTIVITIES SHOULD BE PRIORITIZED, WHILE OTHERS THINK THEY SHOULD SPEND TIME ON THEIR OWN. BOTH PERSPECTIVES HAVE STRONG ARGUMENTS, AND I BELIEVE THAT A BALANCE BETWEEN THESE ACTIVITIES IS MORE BENEFICIAL, WHICH I WILL DISCUSS IN THE UPCOMING PARAGRAPHS.
ON THE ONE HAND, ORGANISED GROUP ACTIVITIES HELP CHILDREN TO RAISE SOCIAL SKILLS. TO ELABORATE ON THIS, WHEN CHILDREN PARTICIPATE IN SPORTS, MUSIC CLASSES, OR OTHER GROUP ACTIVITIES, THEY LEARN HOW TO COMMUNICATE AND COOPERATE WITH OTHERS. THEY ALSO UNDERSTAND THE IMPORTANCE OF TEAMWORK, DISCIPLINE AND FOLLOWING RULES. FOR INSTANCE, CHILDREN WHO PLAY FOOTBALL IN A TEAM LEARN HOW TO SUPPORT THEIR TEAM AND WORK TOWARDS A COMMON GOAL. FURTHERMORE, THESE ACTIVITIES CAN HELP CHILDREN MAKE NEW FRIENDS AND IMPROVE THEIR CONFIDENCE. THEREFORE, PARENTS SHOULD ENCOURAGE THEIR CHILDREN TO TAKE PART IN SUCH ACTIVITIES.
ON THE OTHER HAND, SPENDING TIME ALONE IS ALSO BENEFICIAL FOR CHILDREN. IT ALLOW THEM TO BECOME INDEPENDENT AND DEVELOP THEIR OWN INTERESTS. WHEN CHILDREN PLAY ALONE, READ BOOKS, OR DRAW PICTURES, THEY CAN USE THEIR OWN IMAGINATION AND CREATIVITY. WITHOUT RELYING ON PARENTS THEY CAN ALSO LEARN TO TACKLE DIFFICULT SITUATIONS. LASTLY, SPENDING TIME ALONE CAN ALSO BE BENEFICIAL FOR THEM TO RELAX AFTER A BUSY DAY.
IN MY OPINION, BOTH GROUP AND INDIVIDUAL ACTIVITIES HELP CHILDREN'S DEVELOPMENT. ALTHOUGH GROUP ACTIVITIES HELP CHILDREN TO BECOME MORE SOCIAL, INDEPENDENT ACTIVITIES ALSO HELP THEM TO THINK FOR THEMSELVES.
IN CONCLUSION, ORGANISED GROUP ACTIVITIES HELP CHILDREN DEVELOP SKILLS, WHILE SPENDING TIME WITH THEMSELVES ALSO IMPROVES THEIR CREATIVITY.I BELIEVE THAT CHILDREN SHOULD HAVE A HEALTHY BALANCE BETWEEN THESE TWO WAYS OF SPENDING THEIR FREE TIME.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
You address both views and state a clear opinion: “a balance between these activities is more beneficial.” The discussion of group activities is supported with relevant examples, especially football as a way to practise teamwork, while the points about independent play, reading and drawing explain how children can develop imagination and independence. However, the two sides are not developed equally: the benefits of group activities receive more explanation, whereas the points about solving difficulties and relaxing alone are asserted briefly. Your conclusion restates the position but adds little synthesis. To strengthen the response, explain one of the less-developed benefits with a specific example and show more clearly why balancing the two forms of activity is preferable. (Nine words copied from the task prompt were not counted.)
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for each view, your opinion, and a conclusion. The progression is easy to follow, and signposts such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” make the organisation explicit. This meets the lower-band expectation of a coherent arrangement and shows some effective control of progression. However, the linking can feel mechanical because several sentences begin with formulaic markers such as “To elaborate on this,” “Furthermore,” and “Lastly.” The opinion paragraph also repeats points already made rather than developing the relationship between them. Use a wider range of natural links and connect ideas through clear referencing or cause-and-effect relationships; also remove the missing space in “creativity.I,” which interrupts the final paragraph.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “teamwork,” “discipline,” “independent,” “imagination,” and “creativity,” and the meaning remains clear throughout. There are also attempts to express ideas beyond basic vocabulary, such as “work towards a common goal” and “tackle difficult situations.” Some word choices and collocations are less natural, however: “raise social skills” would normally be “develop social skills,” and “spending time with themselves” is awkward for describing time alone. “In the upcoming paragraphs” is also an unnecessarily formulaic phrase. These inaccuracies do not prevent understanding, but they limit precision and naturalness. Aim to learn common word partnerships and choose concise expressions that fit the context, rather than relying on general or translated-sounding phrases.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses such as “When children participate in sports…,” “Although group activities help…,” and “Without relying on parents….” Most sentences communicate their meaning clearly, and punctuation generally supports the organisation. Some grammatical errors remain, which is consistent with this level of control. For example, “It allow them” needs subject–verb agreement (“It allows them”), and “Without relying on parents they can…” needs a comma after the introductory phrase. The opening sentence also has an awkward construction: “how children spend their time in free time.” Review agreement, introductory-clause punctuation, and sentence phrasing. More consistently accurate complex sentences would make the argument smoother and more controlled.
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