Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

While some people say that parents should encourage kids to participate in organised group activities, others say children occupying themselves are better. In my opinion, kids participating in organised group activities are more adaptable, adjusting and able to rise in their career compared to ones who learn to occupy themselves on their own. I will discuss both these views below.

On one hand, kids participating in organised group activities are very well organized, well planned, able to work as a team, have the feeling of sharing, caring and giving. These are important life lessons. These help a person grow both personally and professionally. They learn how to function as part of a team. These people have strong sense of team work and ownership. I am a team person, I would organize teacher's day activities. I would plan all the way from list of events to writing scripts and delegating to others. Which has helped me develop a habit of planning ahead in life. Weather I am planning a vacation or planning my next project. Hardships of life make them even stronger as they have support of the team. They are eager to learn from other's mistakes which make progress faster for them.

On the other hand, there are some children how occupy themselves on their own. These kids are creative, confident and self-motivated. Which are important skills to have but they will not be able to be a good team player, nor will they be able to make friends easily and won't be able to grow professionally or personally. My very good friend in college was very creative but loner, she would perform every activity on her own . She couldn't trust a team to work efficeintly. She ended up with un-stable job all her life as she is not liked by her team so she is the first one to be kicked ouiin layoff.

Overall, both the kind of kids have their ways of life but kids participating in organised group activities are way more successful, happier and are resilient in life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both views and state a clear preference for organised group activities in the introduction and conclusion. The first body paragraph supports this position with relevant benefits—teamwork, planning and mutual support—and the teacher’s-day example helps make the discussion personal and concrete. The opposing view is also acknowledged through creativity, confidence and self-motivation, but it is treated less fully: the paragraph quickly shifts to disadvantages and the college-friend anecdote, rather than explaining when independent activities might benefit children. The claim that solitary children cannot make friends or succeed professionally is also too broad for the evidence given. To strengthen the response, develop the value of independent play fairly before explaining why you still favour group activities.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs beginning “On one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a concluding opinion. The main ideas generally progress from benefits to examples, so the reader can follow your position. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, and several short sentences repeat the same point, such as “They learn how to function as part of a team” followed by “These people have strong sense of team work and ownership.” Some references are also unclear: “These” at the start of the third sentence could refer to the activities or the qualities just listed. The sentence beginning “Which are important skills to have” is a fragment that interrupts the paragraph’s flow. Combine related points and use clearer links between claims and examples.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “self-motivated,” “team player,” “resilient” and “delegating,” and these choices help communicate your main ideas. However, the range and control are uneven, with repeated general words such as “kids,” “team” and “important,” and several inaccurate or unnatural expressions. For example, “rise in their career” and “Hardships of life make them even stronger” do not express the intended ideas naturally; “unstable job” is also an imprecise description of the friend’s employment. Spelling errors such as “efficeintly” and “ouiin” further reduce accuracy. Aim for more precise collocations and check spelling, while avoiding absolute claims that rely on vague wording.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and more complex forms, including comparisons and clauses with “as” and “which,” and the overall meaning is usually understandable. However, errors in sentence boundaries, agreement and sentence construction recur. “I am a team person, I would organize…” joins two independent clauses with only a comma, while “Which has helped me develop…” is an incomplete sentence. In “there are some children how occupy themselves,” the relative clause is incorrectly formed, and “a good team player” needs a plural form to match “they.” The final sentence of the friend anecdote also has several clauses joined without clear punctuation. Review relative clauses, articles and plural agreement, and use full stops or conjunctions to control longer sentences.

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