Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, life is so hectic that parents find it hard to arrange time for their childrens as they growing up thats by they always want their kids to become independent so they can make thier own decisions to tackle any kind of problem.

First and foremost, there is no doubt that if you start sending yours children in oraganised groups will help to build up their social skills and they will learn to work in team. Lets elaborate it with a good example like if your child is extrovert and want to meet new friends then he should definately join the group activites which will help him to build a social network by which they can take care of each other in hard times.

Moving to other perspective, it is also important factor that children must be independent on thier own as sometime their friendcircle is not good and parents not able to build trust with their friend circle. I have seen many school kids who start smoking and take drugs which they saw as fun activity and a social status. No one want their children life to be spoiled by taking drugs and then taking them to medical cares for health realted issues.

In conclusion, it would not be wrong to say that its all about individual mindset. If you train your child from childhood that what is right and what is wrong then for sure they will saw their better future. It does not matter they will participate in groups or stay on their own.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response discusses both organised activities and independent behaviour, and it gives a relevant example of children developing social skills through group participation. The concern about smoking and drug use also supports the case for parental guidance. However, the task asks for your own opinion, and the conclusion does not clearly choose or balance the two approaches: saying “it does not matter” whether children join groups or stay on their own leaves your position uncertain. Some points are also under-developed; for example, the risks of a poor peer group are described, but the essay does not explain how independent activities specifically help children learn to occupy themselves. State a clear view and support it with a more direct explanation and example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. Transitions such as “First and foremost” and “Moving to other perspective” help signal the change in focus. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because ideas are joined loosely or the links are unclear. For instance, the opening sentence moves from parents’ busy lives to children becoming independent without explaining the connection, while the paragraph about independence shifts from friendship concerns to smoking and medical care. The conclusion repeats the two options rather than drawing the discussion together. Use clearer topic sentences and explain how each example supports the paragraph’s main point; vary transitions rather than relying on formulaic phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The essay uses some relevant vocabulary, including “social skills,” “work in team,” “social network,” and “independent,” so the main ideas can generally be understood. However, the range is limited and several word choices, collocations, and spellings are noticeably inaccurate. Examples include “organised groups,” “friendcircle,” “medical cares,” and “health realted issues”; these reduce precision and sometimes make the meaning less natural. Repetition of “children,” “group,” and “social” also limits flexibility. Build a more accurate set of phrases for discussing cooperation, self-reliance, peer influence, and leisure activities, and check spelling carefully. More precise vocabulary would help distinguish organised activities from independent play and make the argument clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and complex sentences, including conditional forms such as “If you train your child…” and clauses beginning with “as” and “which.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some passages difficult to read. For example, “as they growing up” lacks a correctly formed verb, “if you start sending yours children” has problems with possessive form and agreement, and “they will saw their better future” uses an incorrect verb form. Sentence boundaries and punctuation also need attention, particularly in the long opening sentence. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction; then proofread each sentence to ensure that its clauses connect grammatically.

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