Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

This days, majority of the small shops in the locality shutdown because customers prefer to patronize bigger shopping complex or malls for their needs. This has a negative impact to the society, and economy of the state and country at large. But government can give grant and loan to encourage the small local shops owners to grow and have the necessary items, that will make customers to patronize them.

Lack of patronage to the small shops have a negative impact in the state economy, beacuse small medium enterprise is the key that drives the economy of any state and country, but if they allowed to closed, that will lead to youth roaming on the street and because of theat the rate of unemployment will be on the high side and we will have kidnapping and robbery happening frequently.

Government, can assist small business because they can not compete with big shopping centres. They do not have money to build big building or buy the necessary items that customers needs always. Giving small shop owners grants and loan can go a long way to assist them. Government can also make laws that will help small business owners to compete with the large shopping centres. Such as, they large shopping centres are not allow to sale small items that are below a thousand naira.

In conclusion, many customer shops more with the large shopping centres because, they have everything they need in one room and it is convenient for them. In my opinion there should be a level play ground for both parties. At the same time protect the state economy by giving grants and loan. Make the rights laws to encourage them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you regard the closure of local shops as negative, and you address the issue by discussing economic effects and possible government support. The points about small enterprises supporting the economy and grants helping owners compete are relevant. You also acknowledge why customers choose malls, noting convenience and the range of goods, which helps address the development rather than simply describing it. However, some ideas are asserted more than explained: the link between shop closures, youth unemployment, kidnapping and robbery needs clearer reasoning or a specific example. The proposed restriction on malls selling low-cost items is also introduced without explaining how it would work or why it is fair. More balanced development of these points would make the argument more complete and persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction states your view, the body paragraphs discuss economic consequences and government action, and the conclusion restates your position. This gives the reader a recognisable line of argument. Some connections, however, are mechanical or unclear. For example, the first body paragraph links shop closures to unemployment and then to crime in one long chain, without showing each step. The conclusion’s sequence, “At the same time protect the state economy… Make the rights laws,” reads more like notes than connected sentences. Use clearer transitions to show cause, contrast and result, and make sure each paragraph develops one main point before moving to the next.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “patronize,” “small medium enterprise,” “unemployment,” “grants,” and “compete,” and the reader can generally understand your argument. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “the state economy.” However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or repetitive: “This days,” “negative impact to,” “large shopping complex,” and “level play ground” do not sound natural in context. Spelling errors such as “beacuse” and “theat” also reduce accuracy. Build a more reliable range of topic vocabulary and check common word partnerships; this would make your meaning more precise and your tone more consistently appropriate for an essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a conditional idea about government support and a sentence beginning “because small medium enterprise is the key…”. This shows some range, but control is uneven, and errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Examples include “Lack of patronage… have” (subject–verb agreement), “if they allowed to closed” (verb form and passive construction), and “customers needs” (agreement). Sentence boundaries and punctuation also need attention: the first body paragraph joins several claims into one extended sentence, while “Government, can assist…” has an unnecessary comma. Practise accurate agreement and verb patterns, and divide long sentences into clearer units while retaining some complex structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.