Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In todays rapidly changing world large shopping malls taking place of small local shops which have both negative as well as some positive results.this essay will discuss both perspectives.

In this era,malls provides huge variety in shopping likewise in clothes,electrical appliances and in many other diffrent things.MOreover,malls also saves lot of time,as all types of shooping will done at one certain place.we dont need to commute at different shops to buy diffrent things likewise clothes,electrical appliances ,shoes and many other things are are available in one shooping centre.

on the other hand,there are lot of negative impact of this,As the name of development local shops are closing day by day which mitigates lot of job oppurtunities.secondly, Products which are easy to buy in range prices are much expensives in malls which results to be increase in inflation.

Nodoubt,there is some development cause of shopping centres but it has also some negative perspectives also,As my opinion These days people are well educated they give more preferences to malls rather than small local shops due to which negative imact burried under the shadow of development

in conclusion,Shopping centres provides huge varity of benefits to society so it is important for this technical and uptadated world

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both sides of the issue, noting the convenience and variety offered by malls as well as the closure of local shops and possible job losses. However, the task asks whether this is a positive or negative development, and your position is not consistently clear: you mention negative effects but conclude that malls’ benefits make them important, without clearly weighing the two sides. The points are also under-developed. For example, the claim that mall prices increase inflation needs explanation or a relevant example, and the effect of shop closures on local communities could be explored further. The response is 47 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to develop your reasons and support your view. State your judgement clearly and extend each main point with explanation or an example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on advantages, a paragraph on disadvantages, and a conclusion. This helps the reader follow the broad direction of your discussion. You also use signposts such as “Moreover,” “on the other hand,” and “in conclusion.” However, some links feel mechanical, and the progression within paragraphs is not always clear. The second paragraph repeats the idea that many goods are available in one place, while the final paragraph introduces the view that people prefer malls without clearly connecting it to your earlier evaluation. Improve cohesion by giving each paragraph one central point, explaining how each supporting sentence develops it, and using clear references rather than repeating ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “variety,” “job opportunities,” “local shops,” and “shopping centres,” so the main ideas are generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the meaning less clear. For instance, “malls taking place of small local shops” is not a natural way to describe replacement, and “negative impact” is followed by an awkward explanation about inflation. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “diffrent,” “oppurtunities,” and “varity.” Build a more precise range of topic vocabulary and check spelling carefully. Prefer natural phrases such as “replace local shops,” “offer a wider selection,” and “put small retailers out of business.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a sentence beginning “as all types of shopping…” and a contrast introduced by “on the other hand.” However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries. For example, “malls provides” should use a plural verb, while “malls also saves” has the same agreement problem; “all types of shopping will done” is missing an auxiliary. Several sentences run together, such as the opening, where a full stop is followed immediately by “this essay.” These errors can make parts of the response difficult to read. Practise accurate basic clauses first, then combine them with controlled subordinate clauses and check punctuation and agreement.

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