Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Nowadays, people are more inclined towards doing shopping from big malls instead of local shops. This trend has led to the closure of many local strores. I consider this a negative development because local businesses may face a big financial loss and the countryside people may struggle to travel to large shopping centres.

First, if all the local shops are closed, small businesses can face economic loss. This is mainly because they may lose their main source of income and find it difficult to meet their basic needs. For example, a generational family business is likely to experience a huge loss because their family members are dependent on this business. This loss can then lead to mental pressure and affect the overall well being of families.

Second, people living in rural areas may struggle to travel to shopping malls to buy their everyday essentials. Since these individuals tend to depend on local shops more, closure of these stores can make it difficult to purchase their grocery and other basic items. Many large shopping centres are usually available in urban areas, so rural people may find it inconvenient to travel to the malls. As a result, the closure of local shops is likely to add a challenge in rural people's live.

In conclusion, I broadly see this trend as a negative development since it is making people's lives more challenging. As local businesses can lose their chief source of income and people living in countryside may face struggle to go to the big shopping malls in cities and buy their daily essentials.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction to the conclusion: you regard the closure of local shops as negative. Both reasons are relevant and explained, particularly the possible loss of income for family businesses and the inconvenience for rural residents who rely on nearby stores. The family-business example also helps make the first point more concrete. However, some ideas are developed more fully than others: the effects on families are asserted rather than illustrated, and the rural-access point could explain more specifically how distance or transport creates difficulty. The conclusion repeats the main reasons but adds little synthesis. To strengthen the response, extend each point with a specific example or a clearer explanation of its consequences, while maintaining your consistent position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting separate reasons, and a conclusion. The progression is easy to follow, and signposts such as “First,” “Second,” and “As a result” make the relationship between points clear. Paragraphs are focused on their respective arguments, and the conclusion returns to the stated position. Some linking is a little mechanical, however, and the final sentence largely repeats the introduction and body points. The reference in “This loss” is understandable, though the connection between business losses and family well-being could be made more smoothly. For stronger cohesion, vary transitions, use pronouns or related phrases carefully to connect ideas, and make the conclusion briefly draw the two consequences together rather than restating them.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary to discuss the topic, including “main source of income,” “generational family business,” “everyday essentials,” and “inconvenient.” These choices communicate the main ideas clearly, and some phrases show an attempt to be precise. There are also several word-choice, collocation, and spelling problems: “local strores” is misspelled, “purchase their grocery” is not a natural expression, and “add a challenge in rural people's live” is awkward and unclear. “Big financial loss” and “face struggle” are also less natural than more precise alternatives. These errors do not prevent understanding, but they limit the accuracy and flexibility of the vocabulary. Focus on natural collocations and check spelling and word forms during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “if all the local shops are closed” and a subordinate clause beginning “Since these individuals tend to depend on local shops more.” Most sentences communicate their meaning clearly, and the overall control is sufficient for the argument. Some grammatical errors remain. For example, “rural people's live” has an incorrect plural form, while “people living in countryside” is missing an article. In “As local businesses can lose … and people … may face struggle,” the parallel construction is awkward and the second clause needs a more suitable grammatical pattern. The final sentence is also long and would be clearer if divided or restructured. Continue using complex sentences, but check articles, plurals, and clause structure carefully.

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