Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, many people think that many local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or mall which this sitiation is mostly in big cities. In my opinion both development is a good for peoples.

Firstly, Many people visit different mall or sshopping mall for shopping such as buy cloth and different other things because we go on mall and buy everthing like shopping and grocery for daily life. some people wear brand so it is easily available in the shopping mall. In addition, Mostly in cities every person is busy in daily life they have no time for local shop and they go to shopping mall and buy every thing at one place. In Islamabad have two big shopping mall like giga mall and centaures mall. It is very famous in islamabad and other cities. Many people visit these mall every day. some shopping mall have fun area with children. Mostly family enjoy with children in the mall.

On the other hand, mostly Pakistani earn low income in every month. They visit local shops because it is very cheap. Many people want bargaining with shopkeeper and buy things on cheap price. Some people have more time for local shop. Some people friendly with shopkeeper and some time buy thing borrow because middle class people have money end of month and pay all money.

In conclusion, Some people aford expensive things they visit different shopping mall and other side middle or poor people can not afford expensive things they should visit local shop and buy things on cheap price. It is a both development is good for peoples.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address the question and give reasons for both the appeal of malls and the continuing value of local shops. Examples such as busy city residents shopping in one place, family entertainment, and lower-income customers bargaining are relevant. However, the position is not consistently clear: the opening says “both development is a good,” while the conclusion repeats that both are good without explaining how the closures themselves are positive or negative. The discussion therefore only partly answers the evaluative question, and several points—such as borrowing from a shopkeeper—need clearer explanation of their significance. To strengthen the response, state directly whether the closure of local shops is positive, negative, or mixed, then develop that judgement with specific consequences and examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable introduction, two body paragraphs presenting contrasting points, and a conclusion. “Firstly” and “On the other hand” help signal the shift between the benefits of malls and the affordability of local shops. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow: the first body paragraph moves from clothing and groceries to busy schedules, named malls, and family entertainment without clearly linking each point to the effect of local-shop closures. The conclusion also repeats the two sides rather than drawing them together into a clear judgement. Some linking expressions and sentence openings are repetitive, and references such as “these mall” are not always clear. Group related ideas and use transitions to show cause, contrast, and consequence more precisely.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a basic range of topic vocabulary, including “shopping mall,” “local shops,” “bargaining,” “low income,” and “brand,” so the reader can generally understand the subject. However, vocabulary is repetitive, particularly “people,” “things,” “visit,” and “buy,” and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, such as “wear brand,” “on cheap price,” and “money end of month.” Spelling errors including “sitiation,” “everthing,” and “aford” also make the writing less clear and controlled. This fits a limited but minimally adequate range: meaning is usually recoverable, but errors sometimes make the reader pause. Build a wider set of precise expressions for affordability, convenience, employment, and community impact, and check spelling and natural word combinations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentences and use basic structures to explain reasons, for example, “In addition, Mostly in cities every person is busy in daily life they have no time for local shop.” However, the range remains limited, and attempts to connect several clauses often produce faulty sentences or unclear relationships. There are frequent errors in articles, plurals, agreement, and sentence boundaries: “different mall,” “these mall,” and “In Islamabad have two big shopping mall” are examples. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, with several sentences joined without appropriate punctuation. These errors can make parts of the response difficult to follow. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using controlled clauses such as “because,” “although,” and “which,” checking subject–verb agreement and articles.

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