Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often considered that in a last few years most of the small local shops have been closed, since people visit to big shopping malls or centers for shopping. In my opinion it is a negative development. Throughout this essay, I will discuss how closing of local shops effects on some people and I will also highlight that small shops are also useful.

From my perspective, it is truly advantageous that people can find all utilities and desires under a single roof. They do not have to go various places. They can do grocery and shopping from a same place. Conversely, we are living in a modern globalization where we do not get enough time to visit large shopping centers for small things. In some families women are depend on their husbands even for the small things whether they are out of grocery items or they want matching for their dresses. It is a negative development for housewives, as local shops facilitate them to overcome the situation. For example, while cooking food a person suddenly realize that she is out of few vegetables or she want matching earring for her suit. She can purchase it with a nearest shop. She do not have to go big centers.

Additionally, local shops is also a business for some people. Families depend on the income of local shops because it is running from their inheritance. Growing number of shopping malls and reducing number of street shops directly affect some families, as they are rely on their small shops. People often visit big malls and purchase all things they want. As a result, local shops lost their customers and it also reduce their monthly profit.

In conclusion, where large shopping centers help people to save their time by purchasing all goods from one place, it is also a drawback for daily routine items which are easily available on local shops. It is a negative development because it affects many small businesses.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction to the conclusion: you regard the closure of local shops as negative, while acknowledging that malls let people buy many goods in one place. You support this view with relevant points about convenience for people needing everyday items and the effect on families who rely on shop income. This addresses the task well and shows some development beyond simply stating an opinion. However, the example about a housewife needing vegetables or matching earrings is quite narrow, and the economic point would be stronger with more explanation of wider consequences, such as reduced local employment or community access. Developing these points more fully and precisely would make the argument more convincing and complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting reasons, and a conclusion that restates your position. The contrast between the convenience of malls and the disadvantages of losing local shops helps the reader follow your argument. Paragraphing is generally appropriate, and linking expressions such as “Additionally” and “As a result” show how ideas relate. At times, however, connections are mechanical or unclear. “Throughout this essay” announces the structure rather than advancing the argument, while “Conversely” does not clearly signal the relationship between the preceding benefit of malls and the following point about local shops. Some references, such as “it” in the discussion of shop income, are also not fully clear. Use more precise links and references to improve flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to discuss shopping, convenience, and small businesses, including phrases such as “under a single roof,” “local shops,” and “monthly profit.” These choices make the main ideas understandable. There are also attempts at more formal or topic-specific language, such as “development” and “inheritance,” but some expressions are inaccurate or unnatural: “visit to big shopping malls,” “all utilities and desires,” and “matching for their dresses.” Repetition of “local shops,” “big malls,” and “shopping” also limits flexibility. Aim for more precise collocations and a wider range of terms, for example, “nearby retailers,” “shopping centres,” and “household essentials.” More natural word choices would make your argument clearer and more fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession in “where large shopping centers help people to save their time … it is also a drawback” and a conditional-style example beginning “while cooking food.” The overall meaning is usually clear, but some grammatical errors recur and occasionally make sentences harder to follow. Examples include “the closing of local shops effects,” “women are depend,” “a person suddenly realize,” and “local shops is.” There are also problems with articles, plurals, and verb forms, as in “from a same place” and “she want matching earring.” Review subject–verb agreement, verb forms, and article use, then proofread each sentence. Greater accuracy in these areas, alongside your attempts at complex structures, would strengthen the writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.