Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

thesedays days numerous small local stores have closed because customers choose or travel to large malls to do shopping however this is positive develepmont

to begin with, nowdays people prefer large malls for shopping compare to small shops because all different product are avaliable under one roof. and in large malls products also have offers or large discount because big brand provide offers or deals at special day. such as christmas or boxing day as a result people choose large malls in addition large shopping. centre save time and decrease traffic because all iteam or goods are avaliable in one roof but different quality and several prices

moreover provide large number of emplyment because of large seat up they need more employess to work in many department such as. cleaning , security and many other which provide excellet ways compare to small shops . meanwhile, atract large companies in large shopping malls big companies. like , nike and boss international brand are atracted which. increase economy of company but develop or connect one country culture with other last but least, large malls provide better more option of work but also superiour rank or statues to expalin, more option for upgrade to good rank compare to small shops these option are not avaliable

there are many benefits of large malls. which small shops can not provide as a result which develop socity and socity member for superiour jobs

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You clearly state a positive position, first describing the convenience and discounts offered by malls and then discussing employment and career opportunities. These points are relevant to the question, and the examples of Christmas or Boxing Day offers and brands such as Nike help illustrate them. However, the response addresses the task only partially because the reasons are mostly asserted rather than explained: for example, the claim that malls “decrease traffic” is not supported, and the point about connecting cultures is difficult to follow. The conclusion repeats that malls have benefits without weighing their effects or developing the position further. The response is also 13 words below the required minimum. Develop fewer ideas with clearer explanations and relevant examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is some organisation: the opening gives your view, the body paragraphs introduce reasons, and the final lines attempt to conclude. Linking expressions such as “to begin with,” “moreover,” and “as a result” show an effort to guide the reader. However, progression within paragraphs is often unclear, and several ideas are joined without showing how they relate. For instance, the second body paragraph moves from employment to international brands, culture, and promotion opportunities in one sequence. The final paragraph also repeats earlier claims rather than drawing them together. Use one main idea per paragraph, arrange supporting details in a logical order, and make references such as “these option” clear. Check punctuation so sentence boundaries are easier to identify.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “large malls,” “discount,” “employment,” “department,” and “economy,” and you attempt to express ideas about shopping and work. However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors make parts difficult to understand, such as “develepmont,” “avaliable,” “emplyment,” and “superiour rank or statues.” Some combinations are also unnatural, including “large seat up” and “increase economy of company.” These issues prevent the reader from understanding some points precisely. Build accuracy with common collocations for this topic, such as “create jobs,” “offer a wider range of products,” and “career progression,” and proofread spelling and word forms before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to connect ideas using clauses and linking words, as in “because all different product are avaliable under one roof,” but sentence structures are often incomplete or faulty. Errors in agreement and number appear in “all different product are” and “these option are not avaliable.” Several sentences lack a clear subject or verb, including “moreover provide large number of emplyment,” while punctuation and capitalisation frequently fail to mark sentence boundaries. This makes some relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Practise writing complete subject–verb sentences first, then add subordinate clauses with “because,” “which,” or “while.” Check articles, plural forms, and verb agreement, and use full stops to separate complete ideas.

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