Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, consumers are shifting their shopping to big malls rather than doing it from local stores, which have closed. I believe it is a negative development, the main reasons for which I will discuss with examples in further paragraphs.

On the one hand, if everyone goes to travel to large shopping centers, then local shops will close due to less demand in the market, which impacts the local craftsmen who work in traditional ways, from where they earn money to support their families. For example, my uncle lost his small shop just because of a decline in the demand, which shifted to the mall due to one space in the market. So, it is a bad impact on local stores due to new malls establishing their new market strategies in the traditional market.

Furthermore, if small shops closed due to large shopping centers, then they would charge high prices to the customers which will cut their pockets in same income, which

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, as it is only 161 words long. This significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you clearly state your position that the trend is a negative development, the arguments are underdeveloped and the essay is incomplete, ending abruptly mid-sentence. To achieve a higher band, you must fully develop your points with more detailed explanations and examples, and ensure you complete the essay structure with a clear conclusion. The current length prevents a full exploration of the topic, which is a key requirement for Task Achievement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay uses basic cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand' and 'Furthermore' to signal the progression of ideas. However, the logical flow is interrupted by the incomplete nature of the text. Paragraphing is present, but the final paragraph is cut off, which disrupts the overall coherence. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas are linked more fluidly. The use of referencing is generally clear, but the lack of a concluding paragraph makes the overall structure feel unfinished and disjointed.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but remains quite basic and repetitive. Phrases like 'big malls', 'local shops', and 'bad impact' are functional but lack the precision and variety expected at higher bands. There are some awkward collocations, such as 'cut their pockets in same income', which hinder clarity. To improve, you should aim to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to economics and urban development, such as 'commercial expansion', 'monopolistic practices', or 'socio-economic consequences'. Expanding your range of synonyms will help you express your ideas with more nuance.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. For instance, 'if everyone goes to travel' is awkward, and 'new malls establishing their new market strategies' lacks grammatical precision. There are also issues with article usage and sentence fragments. While the meaning is generally understandable, the errors are frequent enough to cause some difficulty for the reader. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of conditional structures. Proofreading for basic punctuation and sentence completion is essential to avoid the errors seen in your final sentence.

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