Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is true that nowadays people have become shopaholic person that is why they prefer to buy clothes in shopping malls rather than purchasing in local stores. Although it brings some positive aspects, i think that i has more downsides.

On the one hand, there are several positive reasons associated with this phenomenon. In modern era, every one spend time on internet due to advancement technology so they can easily attract to watch videos regarding the fashionable things that is why they prefer to buy those things which is wear by role model as a result, it not only help to boost government economy but also generate employment for people. Therefore, people have no need to look other person to cater their fundamental needs.

In addition to it, people can save their time because everything is available under the one roof so they have no need to go other place to purchase essential things.

Despite more advantageous, i believe that it has certain disadvantageous behind this phenomenon. First of all, people can forget their own culture if they prefer to go shopping mall because some items are only available in local stores that is why they may deprived for these things which put adverse influence for their children growth because they can not get knowledge about their ancestors culture. Apart from it, it would neither create unemployment to local people nor reduce the local economy which is not beneficial for people.

In conclusion, while people prefer to go shopping mall rather than going local store due to become name and fame in front of others, i believe that shut down local market can create problem employment and traditional culture.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of the shift toward shopping malls. However, the development of ideas is inconsistent. While the positive points regarding convenience and employment are mentioned, the explanation is somewhat disjointed. The negative arguments regarding cultural loss and local economic impact are present but lack clarity and logical depth. The position is clear, but the supporting arguments are often under-developed or confusingly expressed, such as the claim that shopping malls cause people to 'forget their own culture' without sufficient explanation. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on one clear, well-supported argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, 'Despite more advantageous' is used incorrectly as a transition, and the flow between sentences is frequently interrupted by awkward phrasing. Referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult to track the logical progression of the argument. While there is an attempt to use linking words like 'In addition to it' and 'In conclusion', the overall cohesion is limited by the lack of sophisticated transitions and occasional confusion in sentence relationships.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several instances of word-choice errors and non-standard collocations, such as 'shopaholic person', 'advancement technology', and 'deprived for these things'. The student relies on basic vocabulary and struggles to express more complex ideas accurately. To reach a higher band, the student should focus on learning topic-specific collocations and avoiding repetitive or misused terms. The errors occasionally cause the reader to pause, though the general meaning remains understandable.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'every one spend', 'it not only help'), article usage, and sentence construction. Many sentences are grammatically fragmented or contain awkward phrasing that impedes the flow. While the student attempts complex structures, these are often faulty, leading to confusion. To improve, the student should focus on mastering basic sentence patterns and ensuring subject-verb agreement before attempting more complex grammatical forms.

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