Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is an undeniable fact that in this era, technology is flourishing by leaps and bounds in each and every field. Nowadays, in recent years, few small local shops have closed because guest visit to big shopping mall to do their buying. In this piece of writing I will shed light on some positive point along with my opinion upcoming paragraphs.

To commence with the abundant reasons why many benefits, first of all, in this technology is increasing day by day, The government gives all country facilities and open the big shopping mall. Every people are coming to visit mall and buying the all things easy way, because all things is available to shopping center. Individuals saved the time and save the money, because some time so many offer get all customer and after buy thing all people are very over the moon. Shopping center have all the time available brands, like, all brands shoes , clothes, jewllery, children toys and so many more things buy to easy way. For instance, last year the survey was conducted BBC company, 705% people want to visit big shopping mall.

To conclude, although there are many ben to buy bigifit

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.5
Coherence and Cohesion5.5
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall5.5

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 197 words. This significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you attempt to address the prompt by discussing the benefits of shopping malls, the argument is underdeveloped and lacks depth. The conclusion is incomplete and fragmented, which prevents a clear position from being maintained throughout the essay. To improve, you must ensure you fully explore the implications of local shop closures and provide a balanced or clearly argued perspective that meets the length requirement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression is hindered by the incomplete conclusion. Cohesive devices are used in a mechanical and sometimes inaccurate way, such as 'To commence with the abundant reasons why many benefits'. Referencing is often unclear, and the flow between sentences is disjointed. To achieve a higher band, you should focus on using linking words more naturally and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that supports your overall argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, often relying on basic phrasing like 'buying the all things' or 'easy way'. There are several instances of word-choice errors and non-standard collocations, such as 'guest visit to big shopping mall' instead of 'customers visit large shopping malls'. Spelling errors, such as 'jewllery' and 'ben to buy bigifit', further detract from the quality of the writing. You need to expand your range of vocabulary and focus on using words that are appropriate for a formal essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The grammatical range is limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences with frequent errors in subject-verb agreement, such as 'Every people are coming' and 'all things is available'. Punctuation is also problematic, with inconsistent capitalization and misuse of commas. Complex structures are attempted but are often faulty or incomplete, which makes the text difficult to follow at times. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures and ensuring correct verb forms before attempting more complex grammatical constructions.

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