Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

There has been a debate regarding shopping preferences. In recent times, several small local stores have closed as shoppers prefer to buy items from large shopping malls or centres. In my opinion, it is negative development because it directly affects the small business owners which I will explain in upcoming paragraphs with relevant examples.

To begin with, there are couple of reasons why this is negative development, the first and foremost reason is small business will break down in few years. To explain, local shops not get enough profits from the consumers, as many individuals choose to shop from shopping mall. As a result, shop owners have to close their shop and find a new job or business. In addition to that, this situation also leads to unemployment rate in the country which is not excellent for economy of country.

Moreover, travelling to another city or town in order to visit new or updated malls waste valuable time and extra money for transportation. For instance, if travel by car or bus, have to pay money for fuel and fair respectively. On top of that, it also increases air pollution. Therefore, all of this above reasons, I believe that, it is completely negative trend. However, big centres have variety in products, local shops have their quality and patterns which is not easily show up in malls.

For instance, local people have made their products mostly by themselves which are inexpensive and healthy, while large business owners always have placed orders from another party which is sometimes not trustable.

In conclusion, reasons local shops people lost their jobs and businesses because loss of profits, and going to another city places waste money and useful time.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that the closure of local shops is a negative development. The main arguments regarding unemployment and the environmental/financial costs of travelling to malls are relevant. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the point about local products being 'healthy' or 'inexpensive' is introduced but not fully explained or linked back to the main argument effectively. The conclusion is also quite brief and repetitive. To reach a higher band, you should aim to expand on your supporting points with more detailed explanations and ensure the conclusion synthesises your arguments rather than just restating them.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices like 'To begin with', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion'. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate, such as 'Therefore, all of this above reasons'. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. The transition between the negative aspects and the brief mention of the benefits of local shops is abrupt and lacks a clear logical connection to the overall argument. Improving the variety and precision of your linking words will help improve the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your opinions clearly. You use some topic-specific vocabulary such as 'unemployment rate', 'transportation', and 'shopping centres'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'small business will break down' (should be 'fail' or 'go out of business') and 'fair' (should be 'fare'). The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, and you rely on simple phrasing. To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary and ensure that words are used in their correct context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the economy of country'), subject-verb agreement ('local shops not get enough'), and sentence fragments ('if travel by car or bus, have to pay'). These errors are noticeable and occasionally distract the reader. To achieve a higher score, you need to focus on mastering basic sentence construction and reducing the frequency of these errors. Increasing the variety of complex structures while maintaining accuracy will also be essential for a higher band.

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