Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is undeniably true that nowadays the way of doing shopping has completely changed in comparison to medieval time. Owing to this, a large number of individual assume that from last couple of year, due to new opening of shopping centres and malls the local small shops has closed and are going to close. In my opinion it is the positive development. Somewhat, however it has certainly negative outcomes which I will elaborate in upcoming stanzas.

Commencing with the first and foremost view why people prefer go to the large shopping centres? To be more clear, due to hectic schedule people do not have enough time to visit various stores. Usually folks try to get whole stuff under one roof. Hence, busy schedule increase the people choice towards the malls instead of local shops. Turning towards the another aspect of positive development is that, mostly people go to malls in order to show their living standard status. In order to flaunt in society they go to large centre.

On the paradoxical side, the first point is of negative view is that, closing small shops result in big loss. To explain in more, as they stock large amount of stuff for public. If customer do not purchase their goods might the product will expire because of this problem. Instead of getting profit from sale they will be in loss if customer will not buy the in-stocked item.

In the nutshell, by analyzing the aforementioned domains. It is evident that due to available each and every item under one roof people prefer to visits the large shopping malls instead of local market. Therefore, because of less sale or no longer sale shopkeeper decide to close their small shops.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the closure of local shops in favor of malls. However, the development of ideas is inconsistent. While you mention that malls offer convenience and status, the negative side is poorly explained; the argument about shopkeepers losing money due to expiring stock is somewhat illogical and lacks depth. Your position is stated in the introduction, but the supporting arguments are not fully extended or convincing. To improve, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a clear, logical reason that directly supports your stance, rather than focusing on the mechanics of retail inventory management.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, 'Owing to this' and 'In the nutshell' are used incorrectly or non-natively. The progression of ideas is sometimes disjointed, particularly in the third paragraph where the link between shop closures and inventory loss is unclear. While there is an attempt to use transition words, they do not always create a smooth flow between sentences. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words will help your ideas connect more logically.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You rely on basic phrasing such as 'get whole stuff' and 'living standard status'. There are also some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'upcoming stanzas' (stanzas are for poetry, not essays) and 'on the paradoxical side'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more academic collocations and precise terminology related to economics or urban development, and avoid informal or incorrectly used vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('local small shops has closed'), incorrect verb tenses ('from last couple of year'), and missing articles. Additionally, sentence construction is sometimes awkward, such as 'mostly people go to malls in order to show their living standard status'. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents a higher score. Focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and article usage.

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