Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Presently, a lot of local small shops has shutdown due to customers travel to bigger shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. In my own opinion, I believe this has a negative impact in the society.

To begin with, our local market might going into extinction due to the fact that individuals prefer imported foods rather than our own local foods. This has affected the market, as food such as locally grown vegetables, which are even more healthier has been neglected. Processed foods, such as, ramen noodles, soda are being bought more by individuals. Once this happens frequently, the local market might be faced with no more choice than to shutdown instead of acquiring losses.

Secondly, native markets has a way of preserving our culture. For instance, at the local market, you would see something like, locally made dresses, antiques, pots made from clay and lots more, which shows our culture. If the market finally shutdowns due low returns, think of what will happen to tradition. It will will be totally forgotten.

Nevertheless, the fact that large markets are still not a bad idea can not be ignored. Such markets creates an opportunity for us to explore the new markets and have a taste of be things. Items such as televisions, microwave ovens, food processors and lots more can be seen in the bigger markets but it still doesn’t mean that the small local markets cannot compete with it.

In conclusion, irrespective of the fact that the larger markets will give room for exploration of new products, the fact still remains that small local markets might going into extinction and our culture might totally be forgotten.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that the closure of local shops is a negative development. The ideas regarding cultural preservation and the impact on local food markets are relevant. However, the development is somewhat limited. The argument regarding 'imported foods' and 'ramen noodles' is slightly tangential to the core issue of shopping malls versus local shops. To improve, you should focus more on the economic and social consequences of the shift in consumer behavior rather than shifting the focus to dietary habits. The conclusion is clear, but the overall development of the argument lacks depth and specific, well-explained examples.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Secondly', and 'In conclusion' to signal the structure. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where the logical progression is slightly disjointed. For example, the transition between the discussion of local markets and the counter-argument about large shopping centers could be smoother. Referencing is generally clear, but the use of cohesive devices could be more varied and sophisticated to achieve a higher band score.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You use some repetitive phrasing, such as 'local market' and 'shopping centers'. There are also some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'more healthier' (which is redundant) and 'acquiring losses' (which is not the standard collocation; 'incurring losses' would be better). To improve, try to incorporate more topic-specific vocabulary related to economics, consumerism, and urban development, and focus on using more natural collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede the flow of reading. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('a lot of local small shops has shutdown', 'native markets has a way'), incorrect verb forms ('might going into extinction'), and punctuation errors (missing commas in lists). While you attempt some complex structures, they are often inaccurate. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that modal verbs are followed by the correct verb form. Proofreading for these common errors would significantly improve the clarity of your writing.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.