Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 7.0)

It is irrefutable to consider that several shops of local venders have been closed because consumers prefer to shop from large shopping complex. Although it has drawbacks, still I consider it to be a positive development.

It is facilities that shopping malls provide such as superior quality products, variety, parking spaces, and recreational activities for all age-group people. What influence people to travel to large shopping complex for buy products is convenience. Not only does it saves time as everything available under one roof including clothes, footwear, accessories, and grocery, but also it is convenient for people to compare prices as well as quality. For example, in shopping malls, there are a number of shops of different brands that provide quality and trust that people have on them. Also, shopping malls have air conditioners, and there is always soft music plays in the background that keeps customers engaged. Hence, shopping malls made it easy for people to shop at a single place.

Due to increasing demand of shopping malls, local shops face detrimental consequences. Product that are available on local shops are much cheaper than shopping centers. Since people prefer to visit shopping complex instead of local vendor, leaving local shop owners to go in loss that force them to shut down their businesses. Sometimes, they take significant amount of debt, and due to recession they cannot pay off the debt, and they go in depression that insist them to suicide.

To conclude, while local shops provide products in low cost, I believe it is a positive development due to benefits that a shopping mall offers.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, clearly stating a position that the trend is positive. The ideas regarding convenience and variety in malls are well-developed. However, the discussion on local shops is somewhat hyperbolic, particularly the claim that shop owners are driven to suicide due to debt. This extreme example detracts from the overall logical flow of the argument. While the position is clear throughout, the development of the negative impact on local shops could have been more balanced and realistic to better support the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'Although', 'Not only does it', and 'Due to' are used to link ideas. However, there are some instances where the flow is slightly mechanical, and the transition between the benefits of malls and the negative consequences for local shops could be smoother. Referencing is generally clear, though some sentence structures are slightly repetitive, which affects the overall cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, with some attempts at more sophisticated phrasing like 'detrimental consequences' and 'irrefutable'. However, there are several inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'shop from large shopping complex' (should be 'shop at') and 'insist them to suicide' (should be 'drive them to suicide'). These errors do not impede communication, but they limit the score as they show a lack of precision in using less common lexical items.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('everything available', 'soft music plays', 'Product that are available') and article usage. Some sentences are clunky, such as 'What influence people to travel... is convenience'. While the errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the message, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher band score. More attention to pluralization and verb tense consistency is needed.

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