Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In this modern world, big shopping malls have almost conquered the market, which at the same time widely impacting our small and local retailers. I strongly believe that, it is a negative trend as it limited the scope of small business owners to emerge, While, big shopping destinations have nothing more to provide a single location for shoppers.

The predominant reason for it to be negative is, big business increased the competition for the new and potential entrepreneurs,To epitome, where our local and traditional sellers are greatly affected as big brands has able to attract buyers through advertisements their brand in the market.

Moving further, mall centers charges extra charges to buyers for upkeep and shared spaces. For instance, Guildford mall is been charging extra fee for every food items sold in the mall.

Conversely, shopping malls provided a convenient place for every one to buy every sort of items under one roof. To be more clear, residents have been facilitated with all the indoor facilities to relax and can buy items from various preferable brands all in one place and stop. However, This has provided significantly financial strain to compulsive buyers.

In conclusion, while shopping malls offer convenience and a variety of options under one roof, I firmly believe that their dominance is a negative trend because it severely limits opportunities for small and local retailers. The government should take steps to support local businesses through subsidies and reduced taxes, ensuring a fairer marketplace for all.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that the trend is negative. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention the impact on small businesses and the convenience of malls, the arguments lack depth and specific, well-explained examples. The mention of 'Guildford mall' is a good attempt at an example, but the explanation of how it charges extra fees is unclear. Additionally, the response is slightly under the 250-word minimum, which impacts the overall development of the task. To improve, ensure each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence followed by a detailed explanation and a concrete, relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or inaccurate. For example, 'To epitome' is not a standard transition, and 'stop' at the end of the third paragraph is confusing and unnecessary. The progression of ideas is generally logical, but the transitions between sentences could be smoother to improve the flow. Using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'furthermore,' 'consequently,' 'nevertheless') would help connect your ideas more effectively and improve the overall coherence of the essay.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey your meaning, such as 'entrepreneurs,' 'compulsive buyers,' and 'financial strain.' However, there are some word choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'widely impacting' instead of 'having a wide impact' and 'nothing more to provide' which is unclear. Some phrases are repetitive, and the vocabulary is generally functional rather than sophisticated. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and academic vocabulary that fits the context of a formal essay, while ensuring that your word choices are accurate and natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'big brands has able to attract' (subject-verb agreement and modal usage), 'mall centers charges' (subject-verb agreement), and 'Guildford mall is been charging' (tense error). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage and capitalization after periods. While the meaning is generally understandable, these recurring errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and consistent verb tenses.

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