Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Over the past decade, various tiny street shops have closed because many people prefer going to big malls or shopping centres for their shopping and I believe this is a negative develpment due to many reasons.

Firstly, Many people started shopping from the large shopping centres instead of small local shops this has resulted in permanent closing of these shops which resulted in people getting unemployed. Earlier people use to shop from these local shops therefore many people were encouraged to open their own local shop to earn some money from it. For example last year our neighborhood had twelve small shops but since the construction of the mall in nearby area 7 shops have allready been closed and these shop owners are now unemployed.

Secondly, Due to these large shopping centres middle class people tend to spend more money than their allocated monthly budget and this has caused moneys issues to many people with managing their finances. Earlier last week I met my friends and almost everyone complained about the financial issues their families are facing. Earlier they use to buy groceries from the local stores, but since they have started going to the malls where there are variety of different shops in a small compact space they tend to visit all of them and spend unnecessary money on getting things that are unwanted.

I believe, government should have concession for small local shop owners so that they are encouraged to run their shops and not close them, therefore I believe large shopping centres should be constructed but not at a cost where we have to close small local shops.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses the prompt by clearly stating a negative position. The ideas are relevant, focusing on unemployment and financial mismanagement. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding financial issues is a bit anecdotal and could be expanded with more general economic reasoning. The conclusion provides a suggestion for government intervention, which adds depth to the response. Overall, the task is addressed, but the supporting arguments could be more thoroughly explored to reach a higher band. The position is consistent throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. Cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'Therefore' are used to guide the reader through the arguments. However, some transitions are repetitive or slightly mechanical, such as the frequent use of 'Earlier' to introduce past habits. Referencing is generally clear, though the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words to connect ideas more fluidly. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the student to express their ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'concession' and 'allocated monthly budget'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice or minor errors, such as 'permanent closing' instead of 'permanent closure' and 'moneys issues' instead of 'financial issues'. The range is sufficient to communicate the message, but more precise collocations and a broader range of academic vocabulary would be needed to move into the higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb tenses and subject-verb agreement, such as 'people use to shop' (should be 'used to') and '7 shops have allready been closed' (spelling error and passive voice usage). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some run-on sentences that lack proper conjunctions or full stops. Despite these errors, the communication of ideas is not significantly impeded, and the student demonstrates an attempt at complex sentence construction.

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