Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this modern era, people are likely to shop in complex shopping centers instead of visiting small or local shops. There are many reasons behind this. I will discuss in the upcoming paragraphs whether it positive or negative development in the next paragraphs.

First and foremost, the reason is modernism; nowadays people are more modern as compared to the past. They follow actors and influencers to get publicity. Due to that, they prefer to visit large shopping centers. But it is a negative development because they are losing their tradition and cultures.

Moreover, it is time-saving. By visiting large shopping centers, people can buy everything in one store; they do not need to travel more. They do not need to visit more shops to buy small things. Along with time-saving, it is a smart and convenient option because they can get discount which are not available in small or local shops. Whether it is a positive development, but on the other hand, people are forgetting their roots.

Last but not least, small businesses close; small business centers are closed day by day because people are visiting large centers. That thing affects the local businesses. Because of this, they are losing their income. Apart from it, they are away from cultural things because antique jewellery and other things are not available in big malls.

In conclusion, it has both negative and positive developments. But it harms the local business and local or small shopkeepers. So, people should visit small shops to promote them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the closure of local shops, but the development of ideas is limited. While you mention both positive and negative aspects, the position is somewhat inconsistent; you state it is a 'negative development' in the second paragraph, but then conclude it has 'both negative and positive developments.' To improve, ensure your position is clearly stated in the introduction and maintained consistently throughout. Some points, such as the mention of 'actors and influencers,' are not clearly linked to the core issue of shopping habits, making the argument feel slightly disjointed. Expanding on the economic impact on local communities would provide more depth.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'moreover' and 'first and foremost.' Some transitions between sentences are abrupt, particularly in the third paragraph where the shift from time-saving to discounts lacks a smooth logical connector. Referencing is sometimes unclear; for example, the phrase 'that thing affects the local businesses' is vague. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would enhance the overall flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. You rely on basic terms like 'modern,' 'things,' and 'good/bad' concepts. There are some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'modernism' to describe current shopping trends, and 'publicity' when referring to social media influence. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more topic-specific vocabulary related to economics, consumer behaviour, and urban development, such as 'convenience,' 'economic viability,' 'market saturation,' or 'community-based commerce.'

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, including issues with article usage ('the discount'), subject-verb agreement ('small business centers are closed'), and awkward phrasing ('Whether it is a positive development, but on the other hand...'). Punctuation is generally functional, but some sentences are slightly fragmented or run-on. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and ensuring that complex sentences are punctuated correctly. Reducing these frequent errors will significantly improve the clarity and professionalism of your writing.

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