Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Large shopping malls have become significantly popular for shopping in the modern era. Increasing number of people are buying their products from big malls instead of purchasing them from local shops. As a result, many local shops are closing completely. I believe that this is a negative development because it reduce the employment rate and income of the local citizen and raise urbanization.

To commence with, there are negative consequences of closing local shops such as increasing urbanization which may negatively effect not only the people of the city but also disturb the environment . Local people will close their shops because they cannot bear the operating cost associated with it which leads to the situation of unemployment. As a result, for survival people will migrate from village to urban area which further increase urban population, traffic congestion and other environmental problems.

On the contrary, people prefer to purchase from shopping centers because it provide convenience and increase productivity.. Buying from large mall saves time and energy because it provide wide range of products at one location which reduce commuting time as a result people can utilize saved time effectively on other productive work. Nevertheless, these advantages are relatively minor when compared with long-term negative consequences of purchasing from malls and closing the local shops.

To conclude, although shopping from shopping malls provide convenience and increase productivity, it have detrimental impact on the nation and environment which cannot be overlooked. Therefore, I completely agree that it is a negative development which can become hinder for the overall development of any nation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, clearly stating a position that the closure of local shops is a negative development. The ideas are relevant, focusing on unemployment and urbanization. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the link between local shop closures and increased urbanization is asserted but not fully explained or supported with concrete examples. While the counter-argument regarding convenience is acknowledged, the response would benefit from more depth in explaining why the negative impacts outweigh these benefits. The position is consistent throughout, but the supporting arguments remain at a general level.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To commence with', 'On the contrary', and 'To conclude', which help guide the reader. However, some of the transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive. Referencing is generally clear, though there are minor issues with pronoun agreement (e.g., 'it provide' instead of 'they provide'). The progression of ideas is logical, moving from the negative impacts to the counter-argument and finally to the conclusion. Overall, the structure is coherent, but the flow could be improved with more varied cohesive links.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There is an attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary such as 'urbanization', 'traffic congestion', and 'detrimental impact'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are occasional errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'significantly popular' (should be 'increasingly popular') and 'become hinder' (should be 'become a hindrance'). While the meaning is never in doubt, the lack of more sophisticated or precise vocabulary prevents a higher score in this criterion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the writer attempts complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'it reduce', 'it provide', 'it have'). Punctuation is generally functional, though there are some issues with spacing around periods and commas. Despite these errors, the communication of ideas is not impeded. To improve, the writer should focus on ensuring that verbs agree with their subjects and refining the use of articles and prepositions to achieve greater accuracy.

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