Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this era, people visiting huge shopping mall and centers for their shopping and this causes that, small venders have to close their businesses because lack of income. Both has its own pros and cons therefore before commenting on my opinion both the views would be discussed.

Examining the former opinion, the primary problem is that local people who have small shops of cloths, grocery, shoes as well as food courts. they suffers most because of the big shopping malls. For instance, Now days people are going there with whole family for variety of shopping. Moreover, after shopping there is plenty of options are available for eating. So they don't have to visit different shops for different things. that is very beneficial for mall owners and they earns so much.

The mentioned Causes have some impacts too.

The foremost effect is seen on local and poor venders they just earns by their shops and if they didn't studied then there is no another way of income they have. Furthermore, poor people can't afford their child's education as well. In addition, medical treatments are also very expensive these days they can't afford it.

For that reason, we should buy items from small local shops for their family and children. In addition, Festivals are best way to buy things from local shoppers. It can be helpful for their happiness and celebrations. Moreover, from our help their children's can study in good school and make better future.

Thus, to conclude the topic, it can be finally commented that, because of big malls small shops are closed and it has good and bad effects so, We should prioritize that every people have right to earn and malls have very large space, it is appreciated if they can give shops on rent to the small shoppers then it can be beneficial for both of them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the impact of shopping malls on local businesses. However, the position is not consistently clear. While you mention that both views will be discussed, the essay lacks a strong, unified argument. The ideas are somewhat repetitive, particularly regarding the financial struggles of vendors. To reach a higher band, ensure you clearly state whether you believe this is a positive or negative development in the introduction and maintain that stance throughout. The conclusion introduces a new suggestion (malls renting space) rather than summarizing the main points, which weakens the overall task response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, 'The mentioned Causes have some impacts too' is an awkward transition. Some sentences are fragmented, such as 'they suffers most because of the big shopping malls', which disrupts the flow. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the logical progression between ideas could be smoother. Using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'on the other hand') would help improve the logical flow between your arguments.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You rely on basic terms like 'big', 'good', and 'bad', and there are several word-choice errors, such as 'venders' (vendors) and 'earns so much' (earn significant profits). There is also some repetition of phrases like 'small shops' and 'shopping'. To improve, try to incorporate more topic-specific vocabulary related to economics, consumer behavior, and urban development. Focus on using collocations correctly to express your ideas more naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('they suffers', 'they earns', 'children's can study') and incorrect sentence structures. The use of punctuation is also inconsistent, with several run-on sentences and misused capital letters mid-sentence. While you attempt some complex structures, they are often faulty, which can occasionally impede the reader's understanding. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring that subjects and verbs agree, and practicing the correct use of articles and pluralization.

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