Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

From past few years, there is a trend that individuals travel to enormous shopping locations like malls to buy goods due to which many tiny local shops have been closed. In my consideration, it has both merits and demerits for society. I have a partial view on this statement.

Firstly, If I talk about positive development, large shopping malls are helping a lot in economic development of the country. Some people often treat such locations as a tourist place. Such development attracts a lot of new visitors. Another benefits of these centers are that citizens can find different types of goods at the same place. I will elaborate on this view using an example. Like if a person wants to buy cloths, beauty products, jwellery and other things, they will find everything under one roof. Hence, This will save their time and car gas.

On the contrary, If i talk about limitations, this mainly effects the individuals of middle class family. They gets affected in two ways, firstly those who own local shop and others who didn't have enough money to visit and spend on big shopping locations. For instance, If a local is investing his/her money in malls instead of on people who run small shops, shop owners will survive. Their children will starve for food. My question is how a middle class individuals who own a small shop will support their family ?. This will create an imbalance in the society.

All in all, In my opinion this statement has both benefits and limitations. On one hand it contributes to the economy of the country while on the other hand humans with tiny shops will starve from this.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.5
Coherence and Cohesion6.5
Lexical Resource6.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy6.0
Overall6.5

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument, acknowledging the economic benefits of malls while highlighting the negative impact on local shop owners. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the argument regarding 'economic development' is mentioned but not clearly explained, and the emotional appeal regarding shop owners' children starving is a bit hyperbolic rather than analytical. The position is clear, but the balance between the two sides could be more nuanced. To reach a higher band, you should provide more concrete examples or logical reasoning to support your claims, ensuring that the discussion remains focused on the societal impact rather than just individual scenarios.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'On the contrary', and 'All in all' to signal transitions. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the use of referencing is occasionally imprecise, such as in the sentence 'This will create an imbalance in the society', where the antecedent is slightly ambiguous. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the positive and negative aspects of the topic. To improve, try to use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that the progression of ideas within paragraphs is smoother and more cohesive.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'economic development', 'middle class', and 'imbalance'. However, there are instances of awkward word choices and collocations, such as 'past few years' instead of 'the past few years', 'tourist place' instead of 'tourist attraction', and 'car gas' instead of 'fuel'. There is also some repetition of basic vocabulary. To achieve a higher score, focus on using more precise collocations and a wider range of academic vocabulary to convey your points with more sophistication and accuracy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the' middle class), subject-verb agreement ('They gets affected'), and pluralisation ('Another benefits'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary commas and capitalisation errors (e.g., 'If i talk'). While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your argument, they are noticeable and occur throughout the text. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and article usage, and try to incorporate more complex sentence structures with greater accuracy.

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