Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It has been observed that

In currenct years, many small scal local shops force to be closed beconise consumers prefer huge shopping centers or malls to purchase necessities. In my perception, this is detrimental to a large extenct. my inclination is justified in ensuing paragraphs with valid reasons and examples.

The fundamental reason for my prefrence is that it adversly affects to ecistcmse of local business. due to continuously adopting modren shopping centers to purchase commodities, local vendors become unemployued. As result, country's unemploymenet rate increased rapidly. The living standards of local shops owners gradhully decrease and they need to find other income sources to survive. it couse to income inequality of country. for instanse because of development of super markects in urbam ared muny street vegetable vendors are becoming victim of unemployment.

Furthermur, I+ increased customers unnecessary spendings by attractive discounet offers and deals. Many shopping cenders offer deals and consumers tempted by such offers and purchase things which are unnecessary this is happend in case of while many shopping mells introduced scheme of buy one get one free on some perticular things.

However, constructions of big malls and shopping cenders is sign of countries developmenet. it's servicess are make purchasing mere convinienet and also provide variety of brands for one commodity. it offers more fecilities and better costomer services. But it's a nayative effects are outweigh it's benefits.

To conclude, while acknowledging that increase in number of indivichals who like to shopping from modren and advance shopping cenders which offers better services, facilities and variety, I firmly believe that this trend is more of a nayative because it creats unemploymenet especialy among local shop venders it also increuse unnecessary spendings of consumers. govern-mend and consumers should support local retailers to maintain strony local ecomumies.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed all parts of the prompt by taking a clear position that the closure of local shops is a negative development. You provided reasons such as unemployment and consumer overspending, and included a counter-argument regarding convenience. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For example, the point about unemployment is relevant, but the explanation lacks depth and specific, real-world examples beyond a brief mention of vegetable vendors. To reach a higher band, ensure that your supporting arguments are more fully extended with detailed explanations or more concrete evidence to strengthen your position.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'However', 'To conclude', and 'For instance', to link your ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate, such as the transition 'Furthermur, I+ increased customers unnecessary spendings', which is confusing. Additionally, there are instances where the flow between sentences is disjointed due to grammatical errors. Improving the variety and accuracy of your linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, unified theme will help improve the overall progression of your argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

Your vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing you to express your main ideas clearly. You attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'commodities', 'income inequality', and 'retailers'. However, there are frequent spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'currenct', 'beconise', 'adversly', 'ecistcmse', and 'ecomumies'. These errors are noticeable and occasionally distract the reader, although they do not fully impede communication. To improve, focus on proofreading your work to catch these common spelling mistakes and try to incorporate more precise collocations to enhance the sophistication of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'it couse to income inequality'), article usage, and word formation (e.g., 'unemployued'). Punctuation is also problematic, with several run-on sentences and missing capital letters at the start of sentences. While these errors do not completely prevent the reader from understanding your message, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall quality of the writing. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for grammatical consistency will be essential for your progress.

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