Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In this modern era, customers foot-steps are significantly decreasing day by day in local shops because people prefering large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. In the paragraphs ahead, I'm going to discuss both good and bad sides of this.

On the one hand, shopping malls can provide several different things under one roof, people can save significant time to shop in one complete shopping center rather than to travel different places to buy several things. Moreover, shopping centers has competitive price range as compare to local shops because they buy products directly from the manufacturers, with same budget they can buy more things. Eventually, people are more inclined towards big shopping malls to save time and money.

On the flip side of it, every place have social and neighborhood connection with their local shops and also these shops are close to their houses. If people start avoiding to visit local shops, not only people can loose social bonds in their society but also it will effect the employment of any particular area. For instance, local shops open more flexible time then the big shopping centers. Ultimately, this trend can effect the employment, social bond, and time flexibility of people.

To sum up, big shopping malls have more positive outcomes because individuals can save time to buy several goods under one roof and generally big centers have competitive price range which can help to save more money. However, social structure meet point of any area is connected with their local shops and these shops are always on walking distance for local people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of the trend. However, the position is somewhat contradictory; the introduction states you will discuss both sides, but the conclusion explicitly states that 'big shopping malls have more positive outcomes,' which is a clear position. The ideas are relevant but remain somewhat superficial. For example, the point about 'social bonds' is mentioned but not fully developed with specific examples or deeper analysis. To reach a higher band, ensure that your position is clearly stated in the introduction and consistently supported throughout the body paragraphs with more detailed explanations.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the one hand,' 'Moreover,' and 'To sum up,' which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or repetitive. The referencing is generally clear, though the flow between sentences could be improved to sound more natural. The progression of ideas is logical, moving from the benefits of malls to the drawbacks of losing local shops, and finally to a summary. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'competitive price range' and 'social bonds.' However, there are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'customers foot-steps are significantly decreasing' (should be 'footfall') and 'people prefering' (should be 'prefer'). Additionally, 'effect' is used incorrectly as a verb instead of 'affect.' To improve, focus on learning common collocations and ensuring you use the correct parts of speech. Expanding your range of vocabulary beyond basic terms will also help you achieve a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues like 'shopping centers has' (should be 'have') and 'every place have' (should be 'has'). There are also errors with prepositions and articles, such as 'travel different places' (should be 'travel to different places') and 'on walking distance' (should be 'within walking distance'). While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and preposition usage.

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