Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In this contemporaray world, globalization drastaciely change world in a different way, individuals attracts to luxuary and varieties for products and they pay what ever companies charge from them. Over the past few years, most of the small domestic shops have shutdown due to customers moving to big shopping centres or malls to do their purchases. I firmly believe that this a negative development, however the positive sides of this trend cannot be neglected.This essay will delve deep into both these notions in its forthcoming paragraphs.

To commence with, there are a myriad of demerits of this trend and many small domestic shops have shutdown because customers moving to huge shopping malls and centers. The predominant on is that, risk of jobs,people how work in local shopsfor their livelihood they become unemployed due to less customer footprint to their shop. As a result they leave their jobs because of less work. Beside this, small business owner lose their income, who totally depend of their bussines and run their family because of the shop sells. Consequently, they have may pay their debt which they took for loading the products for sell. Moreover, by this local economy suffers, money send at local storess is more likely to remain within the community, supporting other local buusinesses and contributing to economic growth. Therefore, the disapperance of small shops weakens local economies and reduces employment opportunities.

On the flip side, there are a plethora of shopping from larger shopping cenerts. The first and foremost is that, there are huge varieties of products which cannot be possible at small stores. As a result, indivuduals preffer to buy their good from large malls and oppoetunity to select the varities of products. What is more, malls and shopping cenerts introduce offers and deals which attract consumers. Consequently, the have apportunity of save big portion of their finance through the deals and get branded products in their reasonable prise. Lastly, big malls and centers are good in facilities, such as background music, air-conditioner, air freshner and numer of outless in a single roof. Individuals can save their time and experience they best shopping during their visit.

To recapitlate, there are numerious of drawbacks of having a huge shopping malls and cenerts, such as hard for small business to survive, loss in job, and effcet of local economey. However, the the benefits of big shoppig cenerts and malls cannot be ignored, such as varieties of products, offers and deals leads to save money, and multiple outlets under single roof.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the negative and positive aspects of the trend. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While you clearly state your position that it is a negative development, the arguments regarding the economic impact on local communities and the benefits of shopping malls are somewhat repetitive and lack specific, concrete examples. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully extended with a clear explanation or a real-world example. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, but the overall structure could be more balanced to ensure the negative impact is explored with more depth than the positive side, given your stated position.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'On the flip side', and 'To recapitulate' to guide the reader. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'The predominant on is that'. Additionally, there are instances where the flow between sentences is interrupted by grammatical errors, which makes the progression of ideas feel slightly disjointed. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that referencing (e.g., 'this trend') is always clear will help improve the overall flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting to use topic-specific terms like 'globalization', 'economic growth', and 'unemployed'. However, there are frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'contemporaray', 'drastaciely', 'bussines', 'cenerts', 'oppoetunity') and some issues with word choice and collocation (e.g., 'risk of jobs' instead of 'job insecurity', 'loading the products' instead of 'stocking'). While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your meaning, they indicate a need for more careful proofreading and a focus on learning the correct spelling and usage of common academic vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, they are frequently marred by grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('individuals attracts', 'small business owner lose') and missing articles or prepositions. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing after commas and periods. These errors are frequent and occasionally require the reader to re-read a sentence to grasp the intended meaning. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and subject-verb agreement before attempting more complex structures.

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