Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Development is known as upgrade in every single thing. Due to the modern time people used to change their lifestyle according to western countries. which is good for rich and very bad for poor economy. In this passage i will describe why big shopping malls both the good and bad effect on people life.

First of all, if there will be only one single shop like mall people can go there and buy everything from single spot. which can save there time and also they can have everything on fixed price. For example, as people used to see more then one small cart of one thing where sales men used to cell according to their own price which is not good.

On the other hand, if all the local small shops will close that can be a cause of less labor work. a lot of people are running their homes with these small work. and also not every person can afford the shopping from big malls. Furthermore, big shopping spot sell only branded stuff to mantaine their image. and that will be good for rich customers not for poor. Because poor people can afford only less price stuff. Last but not least big shopping malls can help to reduced rode side traffic. which will help in accident free city.

To conclude with, both the shops have their own drawbacks. But here shops owner should make their stores while thinking rich and poor customers in which government should help that kind of owners who are thinking about the development of country.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of the shift from local shops to large malls. However, the position is not clearly stated or maintained throughout the essay. While the writer mentions both sides, the argument lacks depth and specific, well-developed examples. The introduction is somewhat confusing, and the conclusion does not clearly state a final opinion on whether the development is positive or negative, instead suggesting a compromise. To improve, the writer should clearly state their stance in the introduction and ensure each body paragraph provides a focused, well-supported argument that directly relates to that stance.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, 'In this passage i will describe' is an unnecessary meta-commentary, and transitions like 'First of all' and 'On the other hand' are used, but the logical flow between sentences is sometimes disjointed. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the final paragraph where 'both the shops' is vague. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one would significantly enhance the coherence of the writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally limited and repetitive. There are several instances of awkward word choices and incorrect collocations, such as 'cell' instead of 'sell', 'less labor work', and 'less price stuff'. The range of vocabulary is sufficient to convey basic meaning, but it lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band score. The writer relies on simple, everyday language and struggles to use more sophisticated or academic terminology effectively. Focusing on learning word families and common collocations related to economic and social topics would be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. There are issues with sentence structure, such as fragments ('which is good for rich and very bad for poor economy') and run-on sentences. Subject-verb agreement and article usage are inconsistent, for example, 'shops owner' instead of 'shop owners' and 'reduced rode side traffic'. While the writer attempts some complex structures, they are often faulty. To improve, the student should focus on basic sentence construction, ensuring that every sentence has a clear subject and verb, and work on correcting common errors in pluralisation and prepositions.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.