Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Things are getting changed over the past decade as the world is getting converted into global village which has impacted small businesses negatively by promoting shopping arcades.

To start with, nowadays people are really more interested to visit malls instead of going to local shops which is demoting small businessmen who serve plenty of things with freshness, craft and passion. A large number of vendors comes from local areas with hand skills who earn money to manage their livelihood. Now these craft skills are on verge of extinction as they do not have a survival anymore to encourage customers towards themshelves. Additionally, most of the products enters directly to the local markets without having any preservatives, import expenses that makes those local vendors reasonable to buy material but those are really going to be replaced by these plazas.

Moreover, these big retailers have business rivalries, in that way they just want to compete the share markets by putting focus towards quantity and profit as well, everyday stock and share markets change which encourage them to earn more and more money and that is completely inappropriate for ordinary people, as everyone wants to look classical and ethnic and people just try to maintain a status by shopping at outlets, wholesale stores. Meanwhile, these big businessmen spend a large amount of money on import or export in order to meet the demand of material that also make them expensive and resistant to purchase products.

To conclude, individuals are getting curious to shop at big shopping centres to show a status of oppulance which is putting negative impact on small businesses who are really depend on these small chains to manage their regular lifestyle and these shopping centres also put a heavy burden on ordinary pockets.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses the prompt by identifying the closure of small shops as a negative development. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While you mention the impact on local vendors and the loss of craft skills, the explanation regarding 'business rivalries' and 'share markets' in the second body paragraph is slightly tangential and lacks a direct link to why this makes the trend negative for the consumer or the community. To reach a higher band, ensure that every point made directly supports your central argument about why this development is negative.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To start with', 'Additionally', 'Moreover', and 'To conclude' to signal transitions. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'do not have a survival anymore'. The connection between ideas within paragraphs could be smoother to improve the overall progression of your argument. Using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer back to their antecedents would enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including terms like 'extinction', 'preservatives', and 'oppulance'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'things are getting changed', 'demoting small businessmen', and 'resistant to purchase products'. These errors occasionally make the meaning slightly less precise. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and using more natural phrasing. Some spelling errors, such as 'themshelves' and 'oppulance', also occur, though they do not significantly impede the reader's understanding of your main points.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'A large number of vendors comes' (subject-verb agreement), 'most of the products enters' (subject-verb agreement), and 'who are really depend on' (incorrect verb form). Punctuation is generally functional, but some sentences are overly long and lack necessary commas, which affects readability. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of auxiliary verbs. Increasing the frequency of error-free sentences will help you move into the higher band range.

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