Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In recent years, there has been ongoing debate regarding takeover of grand shopping malls over the local stores. Some people argue that regional shops hold traditional values whereas some believe that it is important to develop large shopping centres for modernization. This essay will discuss both the perspectives before sharing my personal opinion.

It is significant that the original and traditional purchasing experience should be maintained as a matter of fact that the quality, art and detail cannot be matched by modern sellers. For instance, local business like craftsmen, artworkers, potters, weavers are replaced by modern store, the loss of traditional touch is inevitable. Hence, buying products at the big hubs will not only cost us our original quality and ancient product detailing, it will also cost us our regional businesses to collapse which will be extremely deteriorating for our economy.

On the other hand, It is equally important to note that lagging behing in terms of modernization is not a suitable solution to preserve the culture. In addition to respecting the old tradition it is equally important to adapt to new world of malls and hubs which provides the comfort, convenience and numerous options during purchasing the product. Moreover, bringing the imported products of other nations in the shopping centres also encourages the significant boost to economy by creating job opportunities, market competition and lowers the values of products.

In conclusion I would like to share my opinion on this debate. According to me, this is a positive development to a certain extent, as it has provided a large number of job oppotunities, competitive markets but it needs to be balanced to some extent. The local business should be equally celebrated on a global platform to appreciate its uniqueness and we need to make purchases locally wherever possible to contribute to economy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the decline of local shops and the rise of malls. You clearly state your position in the conclusion, noting that the development is positive but requires balance. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While you mention the economic benefits of malls, the argument regarding local shops is slightly repetitive and could be better supported with more specific examples of how local businesses can coexist with modern retail. The essay covers all parts of the task, but the position could have been more explicitly stated in the introduction to ensure a clearer focus throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. You use cohesive devices such as 'In addition to', 'Moreover', and 'On the other hand' to link your ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. For instance, the transition between the discussion of traditional values and the economic impact of local business collapse is a bit abrupt. Paragraphing is used appropriately, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction through the body paragraphs to the final conclusion.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'modernization', 'competitive markets', and 'inevitable'. There are some instances of slightly awkward phrasing, such as 'takeover of grand shopping malls over the local stores' and 'lowers the values of products', which affects precision. Additionally, there are minor spelling errors like 'oppotunities' and 'behing'. While you attempt to use less common vocabulary, the control is not always consistent. To reach a higher band, focus on more natural collocations and ensure that word choices are precise in the context of economic and social discussions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical inaccuracies, such as 'local business like craftsmen... are replaced' (subject-verb agreement) and 'purchasing the product' (article usage). Some sentences are slightly clunky, such as 'It is significant that the original and traditional purchasing experience should be maintained as a matter of fact that...'. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Increasing the variety of complex structures while ensuring subject-verb agreement and correct preposition usage will improve your accuracy.

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