Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Because of shopping centers and luxurious malls people are not interested to do shopping in small local shops, which leads to owners of that shops closed their small businesses. It is good or bad development. In my openion it has both positive development and negative as well, which I will discuss in next paragraph.

To begin with,in this 21st century because of ongoing development in commercialization there are wide varietly of shopping malls and large shopping centres are available in every corner of cities. People can easily shop in these places because they easily find whatever they want compared to go any other local shops. In these shopping centres there are to many foreign brands and highly expensive products they get ,while moving inside one place and they have option of cafeteria and food corner if they are hungry.

Furthermore,in shopping malls people get too many varieties with execlusive offers so they get benefit. Nowdays malls also offers their premium subscription to their loyal customers because of that people have tendancy to shop in malls so they get different facilities.

However, there are many local and small businesses are closed because of huge shopping centres, people don't like to go around in these places which leads to unemployement and loss in business , so businessman's don't try to open more local business.

In conclusion, people get every products in one place such as shopping centers and malls as well they get too many offers on their products ,but it also give negative experience to local business which leads to them unemployement.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both positive and negative aspects of the shift toward shopping malls. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For example, the mention of 'exclusive offers' and 'premium subscriptions' is relevant but lacks specific examples or deeper explanation. The position is clear, but the argument regarding the closure of local businesses is repetitive and could have been supported with more concrete evidence or a more nuanced discussion of the economic impact. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully extended with clear reasoning rather than simply stating the observation.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'To begin with, in this 21st century' and 'Furthermore, in shopping malls'. Some transitions are repetitive, and the logical flow between sentences is occasionally interrupted by grammatical errors. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the phrase 'because of that people have tendency', where the connection to the previous clause is weak. Improving the variety and naturalness of linking words would significantly enhance the coherence of the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. There are several instances of awkward word choice, such as 'luxurious malls' (which may not be accurate for all shopping centres) and 'businessman's don't try to open' (incorrect pluralisation and possessive usage). The student relies on basic descriptors like 'good or bad development' and 'too many varieties'. While the meaning is generally clear, the range of vocabulary is limited, and there are noticeable errors in word formation and collocation that occasionally distract the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that persist throughout the text. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'owners of that shops closed their small businesses'), article usage (e.g., 'leads to them unemployement'), and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'they get benefit'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing around commas and periods. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to lower the score. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would be highly beneficial.

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