Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, many corner shops have closed, because people prefer to shop from big shopping malls. In my perspective this, this trend has both merits and drawbacks as large shopping centers offer convenience and cost effectiveness. However, it also takes time and cost to travel to these malls.

First of all, big shopping malls offer us comfort and convenience, as we can buy everything under one roof. Many shopping centers have everything stored in it, categorized into different aisles such as international food, clothes, furniture, electronics and others. Secondly, many wholesale stores offer good quality products at reduced prices because their profit margin is very low. For example, Costco is a wholesale center which sells various items at a very low price. Therefore, people can save huge money.

On the other hand, small local shops has acted as a mean of income to many people. These people are now unemployed with the closing of these shops. Also, unlike corner shops, large shopping centers are usually located at central locations which are far away from residential areas. For example, there is a local shop "E zone Mart" in my street which is open 24 hours. I often go their to buy fresh groceries. Therefore, people have to travel long distances to do their shopping. It wastes their time.

In conclusion, altough, big shopping centers helps people to buy everything at one place and also at low prices. It can not replace the convenience offered by the small shops which are located at walking distances.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument, discussing the benefits of malls and the drawbacks of losing local shops. The position is clear from the introduction. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you provide examples like Costco and 'E zone Mart', the explanation of why this is a positive or negative development could be more deeply explored. For instance, you mention unemployment but do not elaborate on the broader socio-economic impact on local communities. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully extended with more detailed reasoning rather than just stating the facts.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'First of all', 'Secondly', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' to signal the progression of your argument. However, the flow between some sentences is slightly mechanical. Additionally, there are minor issues with punctuation and sentence structure that occasionally disrupt the flow, such as the repetitive 'this, this' in the introduction and the fragmented sentence structure in the conclusion. Improving the variety of linking words would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'wholesale stores', 'profit margin', and 'residential areas'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are instances of slightly unnatural phrasing, such as 'acted as a mean of income' (should be 'means of income') and 'save huge money' (should be 'save a significant amount of money'). To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated collocations and precise academic vocabulary to demonstrate a wider range of lexical control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('small local shops has acted'), punctuation errors ('altough, big shopping centers helps'), and minor spelling or word-choice slips ('go their to buy' instead of 'go there'). These errors do not impede communication, but they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that complex sentences are punctuated correctly.

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