Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Nowadays, many people prefer shopping in large shopping centres instead of small local shops. As a result, many small businesses have closed. In my opinion, this is a negative development because it affects local businesses and reduces job opportunities.

On the one hand, large shopping centres offer many advantages. Customers can buy different products in one place, such as clothes, food, and electronics. They often provide lower prices because they buy products in large quantities. In addition, shopping malls usually have restaurants, cinemas, and parking areas, which make shopping more convenient and enjoyable for families.

On the other hand, the closure of local shops has several disadvantages. Small shops provide jobs for local people and help the local community and economy. When these businesses close, many workers lose their jobs. Furthermore, local shops often sell unique products and offer friendly customer service. For example, One general store beside my community, closed after a new shopping mall opened nearby. Many elderly people and children found it difficult to travel to the mall, so they lost the convenience of having a shop close to their homes. Also, shopkeeper hired a boy to help him, that boy become unemployed.

In conclusion, although shopping centres are convenient and often cheaper, I believe the closure of small local shops is a negative development because it harms local communities and reduces employment opportunities.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response7.0
Coherence and Cohesion7.0
Lexical Resource6.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy6.0
Overall6.5

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, clearly stating that the closure of local shops is a negative development. The position is maintained throughout the essay. The ideas are relevant, with the benefits of shopping centres contrasted against the social and economic disadvantages of losing local shops. While the arguments are clear, they could be further developed with more depth; for instance, the impact on local community cohesion could be expanded upon beyond just the convenience factor for the elderly. However, the response successfully covers the requirements of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organised with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the advantages and disadvantages. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', 'In addition', and 'Furthermore' are used effectively to guide the reader through the argument. The progression of ideas is smooth, and the referencing is generally clear, although some transitions could be more sophisticated to improve the overall flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is sufficient for the task and allows for clear communication. The student uses relevant topic-specific terms like 'local businesses', 'job opportunities', 'convenient', and 'economical'. There are some minor inaccuracies, such as 'shopkeeper hired a boy' (missing article) and 'that boy become unemployed' (tense error). While the range is adequate, it lacks the more sophisticated or idiomatic expressions that would be required for a higher band score. The vocabulary is functional and precise enough to convey the intended meaning without difficulty.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the majority of sentences are clear, there are several grammatical slips, such as 'One general store beside my community, closed' (unnecessary comma) and 'shopkeeper hired a boy' (missing article). The sentence 'that boy become unemployed' also contains a tense error. Despite these errors, the meaning is never obscured, and the punctuation is generally functional. To reach a higher band, the student should focus on article usage and ensuring consistent verb tenses in complex sentences.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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