Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent years, many small local shops have closed due to customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. From my perspective this is a negative development. This essay will discuss this development briefly.

To begin with, nowadays many small local shops have closed because customers prefer shopping from large shopping centres which can leads to loss for local business. As small shops are affordable than malls and these shops are convenient for commuters because of multiple benefits they provide such as affordable prices, personal assistant and guidance whereas in shopping centres and malls they provide self service with expensive prices for instance, people with budget friendly shopping prefer local shops which provides them excellent service with convienent features.

On the hand, malls also provide some positive development such as multiple shops under one roof which saves a lot of time and confusion of finding good quality products. This is because people prefer shopping centres due to trustworthy and time saving purpose. For example, people who are in rush and prefer quick shopping can go for this type of shopping places to receive a proper products under same place.

I believe that, this development is creating negative development such as unemployment and loss of business with expensive purchase which middle class family can't afford. This enables people to feel dissatisfied with the shopping.

To sum up, small local shops plays a crucial role for the people who wants to shop products in a affordable prices. In addition, there are some positive development with shopping centres by providing multiple shops and products under one roof they are gathering a lot of attention from commuters. I firmly that, it is a negative development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The essay addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout, arguing that the closure of local shops is a negative development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention unemployment and the needs of middle-class families, these points are not fully explored or supported with specific, real-world examples. The argument regarding 'personal assistant' and 'self service' is a bit repetitive and lacks clarity. To reach a higher band, ensure that each main point is supported by a detailed explanation or a concrete example that directly links back to the central argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear introduction and conclusion. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'On the hand' (which should be 'On the other hand'), and 'To sum up'. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions are slightly awkward. For instance, the transition between the benefits of malls and the negative impacts on local businesses could be smoother. Ensure that your referencing is precise and that you use a wider variety of linking words to connect your ideas more naturally.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'commuters', 'dissatisfied', and 'crucial role'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'affordable than malls' (should be 'more affordable than malls') and 'proper products'. Additionally, there are some spelling errors like 'convienent'. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and ensure that your vocabulary is used in the correct grammatical context. Expanding your range to include more topic-specific vocabulary related to economics or urban development would also be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('small local shops plays', 'which can leads to') and missing articles. Some sentences are also structurally incomplete or awkward, such as 'I firmly that, it is a negative development'. These errors occur frequently, though they do not usually impede communication. To achieve a higher score, you need to demonstrate better control over complex sentence forms and proofread carefully to eliminate basic errors in tense and agreement.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.