Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.
Is this a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
Nowadays, numerous small shops have been closing due to popularity of big shopping malls. It is responsible for the unemployment among the business market and increase the burden on an individual people. Whereas, visiting a large shopping centres allows the people to explore one-spot destination of enjoyment, food-courts and shopping. Therefore, this trend brings both positive and negative development among the society.
On the one hand, travelling to a big shopping malls become common in today's times, as it provide range of items and various quality for one product, multiple choices, discounts during special events or on holidays. Large shopping malls' accessibility, pocket-friendly prices and availability of entertainment resources catch the attention of customers and encourage them to visit malls frequently. Sometimes, consumers can purchase branded clothes or other items, which would be difficult to buy from the small shops. Also, large shopping centres have game zones, cinema, cafes and other sources for the enjoyment, which significantly enhance the experience of customers and access them to spend quality time with their friends, because shopping now act as a leisure activity for them.
On the other hand, growing popularity of big malls dramatically hamper the local business market and foster small shoppers to close their shops, because, it would be challenging for them to compete with big businesses and reduce the rate of their items. Also, their budget didn't allows them to update their infrastructure and make it more stylish and modern. As a result, it is address the unemployment in the community and places pressure on them regarding how to meet the demand of their family. Apart from that, consumers cannot buy unique, attracting and hand-crafted things in the malls, because it is only sold by local shoppers.
In conclusion, a rising trend of big shopping centres is worth it, as they provide plenty of products on a budget-friendly rate, enhance their shopping experience and family time. However, local shops offers something unique and alluring items, which could be arduous to witness in big malls and closing of small shops is disturb their economy of local business and build burden on bread-winners.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response addresses all parts of the prompt, providing a balanced view of both the positive and negative aspects of the trend. The position is clear from the introduction and maintained throughout. Ideas are relevant, such as the convenience and entertainment value of malls versus the economic impact on local businesses. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat repetitive, particularly in the conclusion, which restates points already made without adding depth. To reach a higher band, the arguments could be more nuanced, perhaps by discussing the role of government policy or changing consumer habits more explicitly.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used effectively to separate the positive and negative arguments. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'As a result' are used to guide the reader. However, there are instances where the flow is slightly mechanical, and some referencing is imprecise, such as in the sentence 'it is address the unemployment,' where the pronoun 'it' lacks a clear antecedent. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear and easy to follow.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express ideas clearly. There is an attempt to use less common items like 'alluring,' 'arduous,' and 'infrastructure.' However, there are several collocation errors and awkward phrasings, such as 'business market' instead of 'retail sector,' 'individual people' which is redundant, and 'reduce the rate of their items' instead of 'lower their prices.' While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more precise word choice to achieve a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'it provide range,' 'local shops offers') and article usage (e.g., 'the unemployment among the business market'). Some sentences are also structurally awkward, such as 'it is address the unemployment' and 'their budget didn't allows them.' These errors occur frequently, though they do not prevent the reader from understanding the intended message. More attention to basic verb forms and sentence construction is needed.
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