Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent years, shopping centres as well as malls has increasingly popular in many parts of the world. Due to which, less people prefer to shopping from local shops or local markets. Although this trend has some benefits, I believe it is a positive development overall. This essay will explain the reasons for my opinion.

To begin with, One important reason why I believe that it is a positive development is that meet all requirements inside one roof which customers need. For instance, clothes, shoes, and jewelry store. Therefore, customer no need go to different and different places for shopping. As a result, they can save their time, and spend it with their family members as well as loved once, and can complete their personal task at home. Hence, it is fruitful for every customer.

Another important reason is that shopping centres provide discount on every weekends. So, people can go on weekends outside and enjoy their weekend for shopping. Apart from it, many malls also provide children leisure activities, which lead to children do not feel bore when they go shopping mall with their parents. This is because they can enjoy indoor activities such as swimming and other playing games. Parents feel free and enjoy their shopping. Consequently, It is beneficial for parents as well as children.

In conclusion, I believe that visiting malls for shopping is the positive development because it provides all facilities which customer needs and save time to find items. Therefore, I believe this trend will have a beneficial impact on individuals and society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that the shift toward shopping malls is a positive development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention convenience and leisure activities, the arguments are repetitive and lack depth. For instance, the point about saving time is mentioned in both the second and fourth paragraphs. To reach a higher band, you should explore the broader economic or social implications of this shift, such as the impact on local community identity or the efficiency of modern retail, rather than focusing solely on personal convenience.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression from the introduction to the body paragraphs and the conclusion. You use some cohesive devices like 'To begin with,' 'For instance,' and 'In conclusion.' However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate, such as 'Due to which,' which is not a standard way to start a sentence. Additionally, some transitions between sentences within paragraphs feel abrupt. Improving the variety and natural flow of your linking words will help the essay read more smoothly.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. You rely on basic terms like 'shopping,' 'malls,' and 'good/fruitful.' There are also some word-choice errors, such as 'loved once' (should be 'loved ones') and 'feel bore' (should be 'feel bored'). To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to commerce and urban development, and pay closer attention to word forms and collocations to ensure your meaning is conveyed accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of reading. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('shopping centres... has increasingly popular'), missing articles, and awkward phrasing ('customer no need go to different and different places'). While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like verb tense and pluralization would be highly beneficial.

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