Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this modern world a number of changes are taking place regarding local shops. Some of these bring benefits, while other have negative effect. In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. i personally agree with the statement to some extent.

To commence, the most prominent for my believe that because now days more customer travel to large shopping centres to do there for shopping. They have more money and get the shopping so easily there . They buy cloths expensive and like to big malls for shopping and they can manage easily together. they get the everything from there . it is very good quality cloths and shoes available there.

moving further another significant reason is some people visit large shopping centres and they can take the benefit for some product is very low price deal and customer enjoy entertainment facilities as as restaurant , cinema and which save both time and effort. people can choose many brand and product there are lot of facility there for example air conditionair clean washroom, good table, car parking,cinemas food court, many centres open stay until late.

conversely, it is also possible to make on opposing case. it is also trend to in this year many small local shop is very important for us because it is very close to my home .some people visit there so early less time with vehicle. They can do the groceries easily there because some people do not have the more money visit to large shops. and they like to small shops purchase everything there and they can save the time .

To conclude, local shop has both pros and cons. on balance however it should be made sure that the positives and promoted and negatives are eliminated.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of the shift toward large shopping malls. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial and repetitive. While you mention benefits like convenience and entertainment, the explanation lacks depth. The position is stated but not consistently maintained throughout the essay, as the arguments for and against are presented in a list-like fashion rather than a cohesive argument. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully supported with clear, logical reasoning and specific examples that directly relate to the prompt's core question.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'To commence' and 'moving further'. There are instances where the logical flow between sentences is disrupted by grammatical errors, making it difficult to follow the progression of ideas. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the transition between the advantages of malls and the importance of local shops is abrupt. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but remains quite basic and repetitive. You rely on simple terms like 'good', 'many', and 'things'. There are several instances of awkward word choices and incorrect collocations, such as 'make on opposing case' instead of 'make an opposing case' and 'get the shopping' instead of 'do the shopping'. To improve, you should aim to incorporate more precise vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'consumer habits', 'urban development', or 'convenience', and focus on using words in their correct context to avoid confusion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'many small local shop is'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or run-on, and there is a lack of complex structures. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas and capitalization. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic sentence construction prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on mastering simple sentence structures before attempting complex ones would be a beneficial strategy.

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