Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Recently, people put greater emphasis on visiting big premium outlets or malls to do their shopping. As a result, numerous small businesses have been closed. Although local businessmen suffer huge losses because of this, overall it is a positive development, which will be discussed in the following paragraphs.

On the one side, local businessmen face financial challenges because of the popularity of large shopping centers among civilians. This is because, they are not able to sell the products to the customers. Consequently, a lack of revenue results in business closure which can lead to bankruptcy. For example, in my hometown, Ahmedabad, after inauguration of the super market "De-mart", a lot of nearby shops were closed because the customers stopped visiting there. Therefore, many local businesses face money loss.

On the other hand, big malls or supermarkets bring a lot of benefits to the visitors. Firstly, people can buy multiple products under single roof which saves their time significantly. Secondly, during festivals, they can purchase goods at affordable prices due to on going sales. As a consequence, they can save their money. Lastly, it creates a lot of employment opportunities for job applicants. In other words, such places require a lot of workers for example security, maintenance staff and many more. This can generate a huge revenue which boosts the economy of the nation. For instance, in many western countries, the supermarket "Walmart" hire a lot of employees every year, helping the economy boost rapidly.

To conclude, owners of local shops are struggling financially because of popularity of big malls. However, it benefits people to shop efficiently by saving time and money, and also help increasing employment for the youth.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the task, providing a clear position that the development is positive. The ideas are relevant and supported by examples, such as the mention of 'De-mart' and 'Walmart'. However, the development of ideas is somewhat basic. While the negative impact on local businesses is acknowledged, the discussion on the benefits of malls could be more nuanced to reach a higher band. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, maintaining a consistent stance throughout the essay. To improve, ensure that the arguments are explored with more depth rather than just listing benefits.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two sides of the argument. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one side', 'Consequently', 'Firstly', and 'In other words' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. For example, the transition between the impact on local businesses and the benefits of malls is clear, but the internal structure of the paragraphs could benefit from more sophisticated linking words to improve the overall cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task and allows for clear communication. There is an attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'bankruptcy', 'inauguration', and 'employment opportunities'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are occasional inaccuracies in collocation, such as 'money loss' instead of 'financial loss' or 'helping the economy boost' instead of 'stimulating economic growth'. To achieve a higher band, you should aim to incorporate more precise and varied vocabulary, moving beyond common phrases to demonstrate a more sophisticated control of language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'after inauguration of the super market' (missing article) and 'the supermarket "Walmart" hire a lot of employees' (subject-verb agreement). Punctuation is generally correct, but there are minor issues with comma usage. The range of structures is sufficient, but the frequency of errors prevents a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles would significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.

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