Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-08
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.
Is this a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In this era, there are many shops that are making a good sales compared to malls so local people are taking stress because their shops are not running or making any profit. Further, I will explain its positive and negative about this topic.
In the one hand, people are visiting malls rather than going to small local shops because in malls thay find everything they want to buy like from small to big thing they need everything so they don't need to visit different shops and wasting time and also they get a goof discount for buying that much stuff so they would prefer to visit malls rather than local shops. Moreover, if they are visiting with their family they enjoy because in malls there are plenty of shops like toys shop and also gaming zone where children and family members can play games.
On the other hand, local shops are not in market because they don't have more items they have only one items what they prefer to sale and also they don't give a good discount as compared to mall and people have to visit different places to take different things so they got tired and also they waste their time in that thing. In addition, local shops don't have more options rather than malls so people prefer to visit malls.
In conclusion, from my view I would suggest to visit in malls because in malls I will get more options to buy stuffs and also I would to enjoy games with my family and friends.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt but fails to take a clear, consistent position. The introduction mentions explaining both sides, but the conclusion abruptly shifts to a personal preference for malls without fully synthesising the arguments. The ideas are somewhat repetitive, focusing heavily on convenience and discounts in both body paragraphs. To improve, you should ensure your position is clearly stated in the introduction and maintained throughout, and provide more depth by discussing the broader societal impact of local shop closures, such as the loss of community character or economic impact on small business owners, rather than just personal shopping convenience.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes inaccurate. For example, 'In the one hand' is a misuse of the standard phrase 'On the one hand'. The progression of ideas is somewhat circular, as the same points about discounts and convenience are repeated in both body paragraphs. The transition between ideas is often abrupt, and the lack of varied linking words makes the flow feel stilted. Using a wider range of cohesive devices like 'consequently', 'furthermore', or 'in contrast' would help improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. Phrases like 'making a good sales', 'take stress', and 'goof discount' (likely a typo for 'good') indicate a restricted range. There is a reliance on basic vocabulary such as 'things', 'shops', and 'visit'. To achieve a higher band, you need to incorporate more precise and academic vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'consumer habits', 'commercial landscape', 'competitive pricing', or 'economic viability'. Additionally, there are several spelling and word-choice errors that occasionally hinder the clarity of your message.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures. While there are attempts at complex sentences, they are often marred by grammatical errors, such as 'local shops are not in market' and 'they don't have more items they have only one items'. Subject-verb agreement and pluralisation issues are frequent (e.g., 'one items'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several run-on sentences that lack necessary commas or conjunctions. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and ensuring that complex sentences are formed correctly using appropriate subordinating conjunctions.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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