Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowdays, people are performing malls for for buying goods and services instead of small shops due to which the owners of small shops are closing their business because they are going in lose nobody is buying things from them. This is a big concern . This is positive development.

Firstly,Big malls are expensive and having good brands cloths moreover, they provide great service and offers to their customers whereas,local shops are reliable and having cheap cloth and less varieties in central malls they have different franchisees brand and people can buy foreign clothes, accessories and shoes ecstor while sitting in their country .

Secondly, local clothes provides less option because they have small shops that is reason people visit less over there because it is just wastes of time in malls folks can enjoy while doing shop as they are having numerous option and choose cloth and things .

To conclude, malls have various option where local shops are cheap and having less quality items . Malls are big .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you state that the trend is a positive development, the arguments provided are underdeveloped and lack sufficient supporting examples or logical depth. The points regarding 'brands' and 'variety' are mentioned but not fully explored. To improve, you must expand on your reasoning with specific examples and ensure you meet the length requirement to allow for a comprehensive discussion of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay uses basic cohesive devices like 'Firstly' and 'Secondly' to structure the paragraphs, but the overall flow is disjointed. The transition between ideas is often abrupt, and the paragraphing is inconsistent. The conclusion is very brief and does not effectively summarize the main points or reinforce your position. To improve, focus on using a wider range of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'in contrast') and ensure that each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive, relying on basic terms like 'big', 'small', and 'things'. There are several errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'Nowdays' (Nowadays), 'performing' (preferring), and 'ecstor' (etc.). The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas clearly. You should aim to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary related to economics and consumer behavior to enhance the sophistication of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('local clothes provides'), sentence fragments, and incorrect word order. The sentence structures are mostly simple, and there is a lack of complex grammatical forms. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing around commas and periods. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like verb tense consistency and pluralization.

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