Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Here i would like to debate about small shops and large mall what is the difference between them.

From my opinion i feel that malls play a big part of roll all over the world because new malls are being designed so well that customers like to visit every time. Moreover if u see new generation like to do shopping in big centers because all thing are available over there, such as branded shops, food court, children play area and game zone. However if we go to big stores like "Apple store" we get good benefit plus they give us good discount and Emi. Some stores like branded clothes they give u offers like "buy one get two free" so customers get more attracted and they run to those shops. Where as if i talk about small shops they do not give any discount and always when u visit them they have a sticker on the wall "fixed price" were we cant bargain. Once upon a time this local shops were running so good because there was no competition and customers dint have any choice rather to go to local shop. Still some old age person would prefer local shops because they have been goin there for ages and its comfortable for them to buy things from them.

From my point of view i suggest that both local shops and big malls should be available so that for every body its easy to buy thing in which they have a comfort.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the shift from local shops to malls, but the position is not clearly defined or sustained. While you mention that malls offer convenience and local shops offer comfort to the elderly, the essay lacks a clear stance on whether this is a positive or negative development. The ideas are somewhat superficial, focusing more on describing the features of malls rather than analyzing the broader socio-economic impact of local shop closures. To improve, ensure you explicitly state your position in the introduction and provide a balanced, well-supported argument in the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into three paragraphs, but the flow of ideas is disjointed. There is a lack of effective cohesive devices; the transition between the discussion of malls and local shops is abrupt. The use of 'Moreover' and 'However' is somewhat mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear. Paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs lacks logical progression. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider range of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that supports your overall argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying on basic terms such as 'big', 'good', and 'shops'. There are several informal expressions, such as 'u' instead of 'you' and 'dint', which are inappropriate for an IELTS essay. Some collocations are unnatural, such as 'play a big part of roll'. To improve, you should aim to use more precise vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'commercial hubs', 'consumer behavior', or 'economic viability', and avoid informal abbreviations or conversational fillers.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('local shops were running', 'some old age person would prefer'), missing articles, and incorrect punctuation. Sentence structures are predominantly simple or contain errors when attempting complexity. For example, 'Once upon a time this local shops were running so good' is grammatically incorrect. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring correct verb tenses, and proofreading for common errors like missing plurals or incorrect word forms.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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