Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this contemporary world, shopping becomes essential part of individuals life. Although some people believe that during this modern time, people are giving their priority to the largest mall which contains all the facilities and amenities rather than local business which are shut down since not having appropriate customer base. Thus, this essay will discuss not only positive but also negative side along with relevant examples and justifications in forthcoming paragraphs.

The first and foremost reason for advantages is that wider range of options along with cost- effective price. To elaborate, enormous malls and shopping area are prioritized by folks as it contains lots of options such as same items along with various quality, colour, price, brand and size, whereas only some specific items are available in local market with higher price because of transportation expanses. Therefore, people are travelling to mega mall in lieu of local business. In addition, a majority of individuals wants to develop their social status as a rich person who always do his shopping only in that places which distribute quality products. So, by visiting bigger malls enable person to get more respect as compared to individual who are buying products from local area.

Although having greater positive side, it also contains some disadvantages like economy dispute. To explain, nowadays, if smaller shops are closed, it will eventually gives its negative impact on employment since workers have to leave their job because their business closed. Also, those people who are not educated is getting harsh impact due to not having sufficient capabilities in working larger firms. Thus, job creation by local employer will going end. Moreover, it will demolish the business which are running their since long time, eventually, it will give negative impression on tourist who are specially visit that place for purchasing items for that particular shop.

To conclude,

In conclusion, larger mall are popular not only for its variety of products along with it reasonable price but also it will mitigate the social needs of average person. Although having enough benefits, it also cause the problems like destroying employment and popular image of the shop for specific product.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of the shift toward large shopping malls. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While the benefits of variety and price are clear, the argument regarding 'social status' is less convincing and slightly tangential. The negative impacts, such as unemployment and the loss of local heritage, are mentioned but could be supported with more specific, concrete examples to reach a higher band. The position is clear throughout, though the conclusion is slightly repetitive due to the inclusion of an unfinished sentence fragment.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To elaborate,' 'In addition,' and 'To conclude,' though some transitions feel a bit mechanical. The referencing is generally clear, but there are instances where the flow is interrupted by awkward phrasing, such as the abrupt 'To conclude,' followed by a second 'In conclusion.' Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the overall coherence of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are attempts to use less common items like 'amenities,' 'contemporary,' and 'mitigate.' However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'economy dispute' instead of 'economic impact,' 'transportation expanses' instead of 'transportation expenses,' and 'demolish the business' where 'undermine' or 'threaten' would be more appropriate. These errors do not impede communication, but they limit the score in this criterion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the writer attempts complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'a majority of individuals wants' should be 'want') and article usage (e.g., 'in that places' should be 'in those places'). There are also issues with verb tense and form, such as 'will going end' and 'tourist who are specially visit.' These errors are noticeable and occur throughout the text, though they rarely prevent the reader from understanding the intended meaning.

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