Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In recent years, there are significant changes in the commercial markets. Traditionally, people use to shop from a local stores, however, development of large shopping malls replaced the local markets and consequently, many local store have closed. I believe it is a negative development for both people of the community and local economy.

To begin with, many people relay on local shops for their employment, closure of local stores means less employment opportunities for the local people. Additionally, many small businesses are intended to generate revenue by selling products in a local store. As a number of people visiting to the store are reducing the overall revenue and profit of these businesses are compromised. As an example, many individuals choose to shop from a large shopping centres due to its' attractive infrastructure and modern touch result in small number of people visiting the local market.

In addition to that, purchasing goods from the large centres can be expensive compare with a local stores. The majority of products available at the malls are belong to big companies who have a large profit margins. Moreover, there are additional hidden charges which increase final cost of the products. For instance, people pay handling charges, platform fees and many more along with the actual price of the items while they shop from the malls. Therefore, it is expensive way of shopping and can affect budget of individuals.

In conclusion, although shopping from the malls feel like a luxury and a one stop destination. I believe closure of local store is a negative development, as it not only reduces local economy and employment opportunities but also it is highly profitable for the sellers and pretty expensive for the consumers.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that the closure of local shops is a negative development. The ideas regarding employment and economic impact are relevant and supported with examples. However, the development is somewhat uneven; the argument regarding the cost of shopping at malls is slightly underdeveloped and contains some generalizations that could be more nuanced. While the main points are clear, the explanation of why malls are 'expensive' is not entirely convincing or accurate in a general context, which limits the depth of the argument. Overall, the response covers all parts of the task well.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central theme. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Additionally', 'In addition to that', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader through the argument. However, there are instances where the flow is slightly mechanical, and some referencing is a bit repetitive. The transition between ideas is generally smooth, though the connection between the 'hidden charges' at malls and the overall economic argument could be more tightly integrated to improve the logical progression.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are some attempts to use more specific terminology, such as 'commercial markets', 'infrastructure', and 'profit margins'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'many small businesses are intended to generate revenue' (should be 'aim to') and 'as a number of people visiting to the store are reducing' (should be 'as the number of visitors decreases'). These errors do not impede communication but prevent a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors throughout the text, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('many local store have closed', 'products... are belong to') and incorrect article usage ('a local stores', 'a large shopping centres'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of apostrophes ('its''). While these errors are frequent, they rarely impede the reader's understanding of the main points. To improve, the student should focus on basic subject-verb agreement and pluralization rules.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.