Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this high developments of societies, shopping malls has been often chose by individuals to do shopping rather than small local shops because of the competition with societies to show off their personality. It gives a plethora of side effects on local shops.

One major reason is that, citizens wants to go with branded cloths or things, for that they have to visit big shopping malls, which contains branded things. For example, if someone wants to buy a branded dress they will chose malls instead of local shops because people often think that in the malls they have a high quality of material and brand which they can not find in small shops. As a result, small shops not receive customers, consequently, it create negative impact on the store which also create unemployment and have not enough money for family.

In addition to that, big shops take a advantage of this things and they increase the price of things. To exemplify this, compared to the local shops shopping malls often has a high price because they think that who comes to the buy things they will definetly will buy without any bargaining as well. Because it has a social reputation of individuals, in the malls bargaining feels like lower level of personality.

Hence, they have to pay extra. As compared to local shops, visitors often do bargaining for thing which make less money for shop but beneficial for customers. At the end both side local shops has to suffer more.

In the nutshell, shopping malls often invest money on advertisement and pamphlets to attract the customers which can not do by local shops and they often suffer for customers to come.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The essay addresses the prompt by identifying the trend of local shops closing and arguing that this is a negative development. However, the position is not fully developed. While you mention unemployment and the loss of bargaining power, the arguments lack depth and specific, real-world examples. The response tends to over-generalize, particularly regarding the pricing strategies of malls versus local shops. To improve, you should focus on providing more nuanced analysis of the economic or social consequences, rather than repeating the idea that malls are simply 'branded' or 'expensive'. The conclusion is also quite brief and does not effectively summarize the main points or reinforce your position.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, 'In the nutshell' is an incorrect idiom (it should be 'In a nutshell'), and the transition 'To exemplify this' is followed by a point about pricing rather than a clear illustration of the previous claim. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the phrase 'take a advantage of this things', where the antecedent is vague. The logical progression between sentences is occasionally interrupted by grammatical errors, which makes the flow feel disjointed at times.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The range of vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. You frequently use basic terms like 'things', 'shops', and 'money'. There are several collocation errors, such as 'high developments of societies' (perhaps 'rapid societal development' was intended) and 'shopping malls has been often chose'. The use of 'plethora' is a good attempt at a more sophisticated word, but it is used incorrectly here, as it does not fit the context of 'side effects'. To reach a higher band, you need to use more precise vocabulary related to economics and retail, and improve your control over word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede communication. Subject-verb agreement is a major issue, such as 'shopping malls has been often chose' and 'citizens wants'. There are also persistent errors with articles ('the' vs 'a') and pluralization, such as 'a advantage of this things'. While you attempt some complex sentence structures, they are often marred by errors in tense or word order, such as 'they will definetly will buy'. You rely heavily on simple sentence structures, and the lack of control over basic grammar significantly lowers the score for this criterion.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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