Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In recent years, the development of large shopping malls has contributed to the closure of many small local shops. Although shopping malls offer great convenience and variety, I believe shutting down of local shops is a negative development because it can damage the character and cultural identity of local communities.

On the one hand, the popularity of large shopping centres is increasing because they offer a wide variety of options available for customers in one place which includes shops, restaurants and entertainment facilities, making things convenient for the people.In addition, they also offer discounts, customers can compare the prices and products because of several stores available in one room and choose the best deals.Furthermore, malls have ample parking and they open for long hours which make it easy for people with busy schedules and find attractive option.

On the other hand, the disappearance of local businesses can have significant negative consequences. Firstly, country loses its tourist apeeal because many people visited the local shops to buy specialised products from local shops.Secondly, it's important part of community because they provide employment for families and contribute significantly to the local economy. For example, local products are designed to show the country's own culture and traditions, which promotes tourism and help preserve local heritage. The loss of such businesses can therefor make local shopping districts less distinctive and less socially vibrant. In my opinion, I believe we should preserve the dignity of locals and promote their products.

In conclusion, although large shopping centres provide convenience, competitive prices and wide variety of services, In my opinion closure of small local shops to be a largely negative development. Governments should promote both independent retailers and large shopping centres, allowing customers to enjoy convenience while preserving the economic and social benefits.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

You have addressed all parts of the prompt, clearly stating your position that the closure of local shops is a negative development. Your ideas are relevant, and you provide supporting arguments for both sides of the issue. However, some points could be more fully developed. For instance, the argument regarding 'tourist appeal' is a strong point, but it could be expanded with more specific detail or a concrete example of a local shop type that has been lost. Overall, your position is consistent throughout the essay, and the response is well-balanced, meeting the requirements for a Band 7.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use a range of cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'In addition', and 'Furthermore' to guide the reader. However, there are some minor issues with mechanical cohesion; for example, the sentence 'In addition, they also offer discounts, customers can compare...' is a comma splice, and the transition between ideas could be smoother in the second paragraph. Paragraphing is used appropriately, and the progression of ideas is generally clear throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'cultural identity', 'distinctive', and 'socially vibrant'. There are some minor errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'apeeal' (appeal) and 'therefor' (therefore). You also tend to repeat the phrase 'local shops' frequently. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise synonyms or collocations to avoid repetition and demonstrate a more sophisticated control of vocabulary. The current level is sufficient to communicate your ideas clearly without difficulty.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While many sentences are clear, there are several grammatical slips, such as 'shutting down of local shops' (should be 'the shutting down of'), 'country loses its tourist apeeal' (missing article 'a' or 'the'), and 'they open for long hours which make it easy' (subject-verb agreement error: 'makes'). Punctuation is generally functional, though there are some run-on sentences. Despite these errors, the meaning is never obscured, and the grammar is sufficient for a Band 6.0.

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