Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In modern era large number of small stores have shut down as customers prefers to shop from big complex centres or malls. I believe it is a positive trend in terms of convenience I elaborate this in upcoming essay.

Firstly, in my opinion shopping in malls save our time. Shopping centres consist of variety of brands like clothing, footwear, bags and even grocery stores which make convenient for pupils to shop. Whearas, to shop from local stores is time consuming because different shops contains different materials so if person wants to buy two different items they have to visit to different shops. For example,in India day by day large number of shopping complex are opening on customer demands. As a result, it is more reliable to buy stuff from malls rather than local shops.

Furthermore, big stores give quality ad well as warranty of the product with original receipt. So, in future if customer want to exchange or return the product can easily do just by showing the receipt. Moreover, brands always offer quality over quantity so owner ever get any complaint regarding the stuff. On the other hand, local shops contains doesn’t provide any receipt on any purchase so it become difficult to exchange the product in future. To illustrate, local shops sell the copies of brand product which are very cheap in terms of quality.Hence, it is recommended to shop from big complex.

In conclusion, as big shopping centre are much more convenient and serve quality with warranty . Moreover, people can spend quality time with friends and family overthere so I believe in coming days the local shops have higher chances to shut down.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that the trend is positive. The ideas regarding convenience and product quality are relevant and supported by examples, such as the variety of goods in malls and the issue of receipts. However, the development is somewhat limited; the argument relies on generalisations, and the conclusion introduces a new point about socialising that was not previously developed. To reach a higher band, ensure that each body paragraph focuses on one clear, well-extended argument rather than listing several points briefly. The response is sufficient in length, but the depth of analysis could be improved to better justify the position.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Furthermore', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' are used to link sentences and paragraphs. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where referencing is slightly unclear, such as 'overthere' in the final paragraph. Additionally, some sentence transitions feel abrupt. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the overall flow and coherence of the essay.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their opinion clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'warranty', 'receipt', and 'convenience'. However, there are several errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'complex centres' instead of 'shopping complexes', 'pupils' to refer to shoppers (which is incorrect), and 'owner ever get any complaint' which is unclear. Some phrasing is repetitive, and the range of vocabulary is somewhat limited. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding informal or inaccurate word choices.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('customers prefers', 'shops contains'), missing articles ('to shop from local stores is time consuming'), and punctuation errors. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. To achieve a higher band, the writer needs to demonstrate better control over basic grammar, particularly subject-verb agreement and article usage, and attempt more complex sentence structures with greater accuracy.

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