Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Currently, many local minor businesses have shut down, because customers prefer going to bigger shopping centres to purchase items. this trend is an unfavourable development to smaller businesses. This owing to the fact that, the small local shops is located within reach, saves time and resources. buy an item in a small shop within my street is easier than pay for transport to the city to get the same item.

This is not good for businesses that are starting up ,it discourages individuals who have the intention to operate minor business. it is not easily accessed by customers because of distance and also cost of transportation is also another challenge faced by consumers. if this is not checked through government policies, it will drive investors that tend to start small. the level of unemployment is rapidly growing because of the closure of the micro employing sector of the economy which is very vital for the survival of the country's economy.

The recent opening of shop rite in portharcourt has affected the nearby businesses that was doing well before the establishment of the bigger mall. for the fact that enough sells are not been made, the shop has to down size it's work force to keep afloat, thereby causing an increase in unemployment. government intervention through policies to strengthen small, medium enterprise or giving of grants to support them expand.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by identifying the trend as negative, but it fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 229 words. This under-length significantly impacts the development of ideas. While the essay provides relevant points regarding unemployment and the impact on small businesses, the arguments are somewhat repetitive and lack the depth required for a higher band. The conclusion is also abrupt and lacks a summary of the main points. To improve, you must expand on your arguments with more detailed examples and ensure you meet the minimum length to allow for full development of your position.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is often hindered by awkward phrasing and a lack of clear cohesive devices. Transitions between sentences are frequently missing or mechanical, such as the abrupt start to the second paragraph. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the progression of ideas feels disjointed. For instance, the jump from the impact on new businesses to the specific example of 'Shoprite' lacks a smooth transition. Using a wider range of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'in contrast') would help improve the overall structure and flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety expected at higher levels. There are several instances of awkward word choices, such as 'minor businesses' instead of 'small-scale enterprises' and 'enough sells are not been made' instead of 'sufficient sales are not being generated'. The repetition of basic terms like 'small' and 'business' limits your score. To reach a higher band, you should aim to incorporate more sophisticated collocations and topic-specific vocabulary related to economics and urban development, while ensuring that your word choices are grammatically accurate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the small local shops is located'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'enough sells are not been made'), and punctuation errors, particularly with comma usage and sentence fragments. The range of sentence structures is limited, relying heavily on simple or poorly constructed complex sentences. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring subject-verb agreement, and proofreading for common errors like missing articles or incorrect tense usage. Increasing the variety of complex structures will also help demonstrate better control.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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