Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-12
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.
Is this a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Nowadays, city centers have opened in many cities as a result local shopkeepers closed their businesses. I believe it has negative trend because due to this unemployment rate has increased.
To begin with, as new shopping malls are opened in various cities and people give their preference to shopping there owing to this small local shops has closed and shopkeepers become jobless. In addition to this, in shopping centers mostly things are expensive which can not afford many people. in local shops they can buy their stuffs at cheaper price. For example, A study showed that since large malls are opened poor individuals could not full fill their daily needs because of inflation.
On the other hand, there are some cons of big shopping centers. These are not only convenient for public but also provide large collection of products. people has more options to buy quality and things. Moreover, people find they can find all the places under the one roof such as in there are shopping centers as well as food courts and cinemas individuals can enjoy every all these in one place.
In conclusion, although malls provide wider options to public, small shops are affordable for everyone.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you state a clear position that the trend is negative, the arguments are underdeveloped. For instance, the point about unemployment is mentioned but not fully explored with specific examples or logical consequences. The essay also lacks a balanced discussion; you mention the 'cons' of shopping centers in the third paragraph, but these are actually 'pros' (convenience, variety), which creates confusion regarding your stance. To improve, ensure you expand on each point with detailed explanations and examples, and ensure your paragraph content aligns with your stated position.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical progression is hindered by the confusion in the third paragraph, where you label the benefits of malls as 'cons'. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To begin with' and 'In addition to this', but they are sometimes used mechanically or incorrectly, such as 'owing to this small local shops has closed'. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the transition between ideas feels abrupt due to the lack of supporting detail. Improving the use of linking words to show clear relationships between sentences would enhance the flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You rely on basic terms like 'things', 'closed', and 'opened' throughout the text. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'full fill their daily needs' (fulfill) and 'give their preference to shopping there' (prefer shopping there). While the meaning is generally conveyed, the range is insufficient to discuss the topic with precision. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more topic-specific vocabulary related to economics, retail, and urban development, and focus on using words in their correct collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There is a frequent occurrence of grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Subject-verb agreement is a recurring issue, for example, 'local shops has closed' and 'people has more options'. There are also errors in sentence structure and punctuation, such as 'in local shops they can buy their stuffs at cheaper price' and 'in there are shopping centers'. The range of structures is limited, consisting mostly of simple or slightly flawed complex sentences. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and proofreading for sentence fragments and run-on sentences.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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