Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is commonly seen that in the modern world people prefer to buy most of their stuff from shopping complexes rather than from local stores. I believe that disadvantages of this trend outweigh its advantages as it alleviate many job opportunities in local areas which causes migration to cities.

Explaining my view of having more negatives, one reason is that it demotivates local businessmen when they experience people prefer travelling to large shopping centers or malls and their supply of product is getting expired or not meeting up the required sale level. It results local businesses to face more loss then gaining profits and they end up closing the business. Not only this, it reduces job opportunities in local areas when these business are forced to shut down without having adequate sale and young generation looking to get experience or earn money for their families migrate to cities permanently which results industrialization that negatively effect the environment too. When more and more people move to advanced cities for their jobs or gaining practical experience, they require sources to commute to their workplace which raise the problem of pollution and traffic congestion for local residents as well as for people coming from towns or regional areas.

Shopping from the large shopping centers is completely a wastage of people's precious time that they can utilize spending with their families, refreshing themselves after their hectic schedule at workplace especially when similar products are available in their local shops. In addition to this, people end up spending huge amounts of their hard earned money just in a single day when they often visit to the shopping squares which later tightens their financial budget and create stress to manage other important household expenses such as rent, telephone bills, and groceries. To exemplify, in the recent research conducted at Dalhousie University, Canada it has been concluded that most of the Canadians spend hefty amounts to do shopping in the malls on every Friday which end up stressing them later for upcoming week expenses and they use more credit cards and pay extra interest on that.

To conclude, it is undeniable that going to shopping malls often makes people extravagant that makes their daily life stressful and it negatively impacts the environment and society when people are forced to move to cities for jobs and experience.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

You have clearly stated your position that the trend is negative and maintained this throughout the essay. You address the prompt by discussing the impact on local businesses, employment, and the environment. However, some ideas are slightly over-generalized, such as the direct link between local shop closures and industrialization. To reach a higher band, ensure that your supporting arguments are more tightly focused on the prompt. For instance, the discussion on personal time management is relevant, but the link to credit card interest in the example feels slightly tangential to the core issue of local versus large-scale retail. Overall, the response is well-developed and addresses all parts of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use a range of cohesive devices such as 'In addition to this', 'To exemplify', and 'To conclude' to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and the flow between the impact on local business and the environmental consequences could be smoother. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas. While the progression is generally clear, some sentences are slightly long and convoluted, which occasionally impacts the readability of your arguments. Overall, the structure is effective and supports your central position well.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'extravagant', 'congestion', and 'industrialization'. There are some instances of awkward word choice or collocation, such as 'alleviate many job opportunities' (which should be 'reduce' or 'eliminate') and 'shopping squares' (which is not a standard term for malls). You also have some minor errors in word form, such as 'negatively effect' (should be 'affect'). While you attempt to use less common vocabulary, these inaccuracies prevent a higher score. Focusing on more precise collocations will help improve your lexical precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement and article usage, such as 'disadvantages of this trend outweigh its advantages as it alleviate' (should be 'alleviates') and 'results local businesses to face' (should be 'results in local businesses facing'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some run-on sentences that could be improved by breaking them into shorter, clearer statements. Despite these errors, the meaning is consistently clear, and the grammar does not impede communication.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.