Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The growing trend of shopping has bought both positive and negative consequences. While a certain section of society have started shopping at malls, the local shop are facing losses and have to close their shops. I firmly believe that the disadvantages are far more significant.

On the one hand, there are valid points regarding the shopping at the mall. This is primarily because large shopping hubs give the variety in the products including clothes and groceries. Also, the product prices are much cheaper as compared to those that are available at the local stores. To illustrate this, a survey was conducted in New York city regarding the pricing in the grocery stores and it was noted that the product available at the small local stores are 40-50% more expensive than that of the same product available at the large grocery stops such as Walmart and Costco.

On the other hand, a much stronger case can be made for the shopping at the local stores. The main rationale behind this is the employment; the more citizens will explore local shops, the more employment will be generated. Furthermore, the monopoly will never be exist if more options will be available for the people while they go out for shopping. To exemplify, in Delhi, the local market named Sarojini Nagar still exists; As a result, Many multinational clothes brands fail to dominate the city.

To conclude, while there are valid points regarding type of varieties the mall offers, I believe that many negative developments like employment and monopoly can be increased with the closing of the small shops.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have addressed the prompt by taking a clear position that the trend is negative. You provided relevant reasons, such as employment and the prevention of monopolies, to support your argument. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For example, the point about monopolies is mentioned but not fully explained in terms of how local shops specifically prevent this. Additionally, the conclusion is slightly repetitive and does not fully synthesize the arguments presented. To reach a higher band, ensure that each main idea is supported by a more detailed explanation or a more nuanced example that directly links back to the core question of whether this development is positive or negative.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central topic. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'On the one hand' and 'To illustrate', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or misused, such as 'the monopoly will never be exist if more options will be available'. The referencing is generally clear, but the flow between sentences could be improved to make the progression of ideas feel more natural. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring they are used in the correct context will help improve the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'multinational', 'rationale', and 'consequences'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'the shopping at the mall' (should be 'shopping at malls') and 'give the variety in the products' (should be 'offer a variety of products'). There are also some minor errors in phrasing, such as 'grocery stops' instead of 'grocery stores'. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and using more precise terminology to express your ideas, which will help you move toward a more sophisticated and natural style.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is a good start. However, there are several grammatical errors throughout the text, such as 'the local shop are facing' (subject-verb agreement), 'the monopoly will never be exist' (incorrect verb form), and 'if more options will be available' (incorrect conditional structure). While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your message, they are frequent enough to impact the overall accuracy. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct verb tense usage in conditionals, and ensuring that articles (a/the) are used appropriately with nouns.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.