Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It would not be unfair to state that nowadays many small local markets have closed due to consumer travel or large shopping malls to do their shopping. This is a positive development.

To commence with, the given views. First of all, people usually gets some discounts while shopping in large malls. In other words, many prefer to buy goods at cheap prices in order to manage their another expenses. Moreover, these big shopping malls also offers variety of products to their customer's. For example, a survey was conducted in the USA, they found that 80 percent of people like to buy things in a large stores due to get some discounts and different products. As a result, large shopping centres are more useful for consumers in order to grab cheap products and varieties according to their choice.

Furthermore, big shopping centres also offer return and replacement options to their customer’s. For instance, if a buyer received something broken, they can either easily change their items or they can get refunds just showing their receipt to the cashier. In tandem with this, people can get job opportunities easily in the big shopping centres because these malls usually requires sale staff members, security guards and cleaners.

In conclusion, although, many individuals think that small shops are disappearing due to large malls, yet these big shopping centres are more beneficial in order to claim some discounts and it opens source of employment.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that the trend is positive. However, the essay fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While the arguments regarding discounts, variety, and employment are relevant, they are somewhat superficial and lack the depth required for a higher band. The conclusion is brief and does not fully synthesize the points made. To improve, you should expand on your supporting examples and ensure that you meet the length requirement to allow for a more thorough exploration of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Moreover', and 'Furthermore' to link your points. However, some of these transitions feel slightly mechanical or forced. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'the given views', which does not effectively introduce the topic. Paragraphing is present, but the overall flow could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a more robust topic sentence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'discounts', 'replacement options', and 'employment'. However, there are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'manage their another expenses' and 'it opens source of employment'. There is also a lack of less common lexical items that would demonstrate a higher level of proficiency. Focusing on collocations and more precise terminology will help improve your score in this area.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('people usually gets', 'malls usually requires') and incorrect use of apostrophes ('customer's', 'customer’s'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are persistent and affect the overall fluency of the writing. To reach a higher band, you need to focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, particularly with pluralization and verb forms, and aim for more error-free complex sentences.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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